Get 10,000 Readers

Can I Help YOU Reach More Readers?

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

Previously, this blog has contained my ramblings and musing as I struggled to become a better writer and a published author. I've posted my health updates as I battled three autoimmune diseases, Lyme Disease, and a slew of other illnesses, sex toy reviews from the Everything Erotic (EE) blog, contest news, writing progress… well, you name it and I probably covered it!

Will I still be doing the incredibly popular sex toy reviews? Yes! I took a hiatus from EE while my career exploded, but now I'm back on track and will be posting regularly there starting this month.

The format and content here will change. It will no longer be my personal journal. I share so much on FB it's not like many readers track me here to this obscure blog. I've decided I want to build a website and teach writers what I've learned through videos and typed content. I've done a ton of marketing research and spent thousands of dollars on trying new things. After talking to other Indie and small press authors, discovered I learned more than I actually thought.

I think a lot of the knowledge sifted in little by little as I read blogs on the publishing industry, retailer trends, social media sites, and basically tried my hand at anything and everything to reach readers -- all without me realizing I'd done a hell of a lot in a short span of time.

The writers I work with at Red Hot Publishing (RHP) have been encouraging me for months to get my ideas down into a cohesive format, but honestly, I thought, who the hell would care? There are a ton of ebooks aimed at the author market, did we really need another?

This concept will be different. It will teach via these blog posts, videos on the website, and be organized on a Page on Facebook (FB) to share ideas.

Some of you may be saying to yourself, "Who the hell are you and why should I care?"

And you're right. I'm still basically a nobody in the publishing industry. I have an agent who couldn't sell my work to the NY market and I have a business background from before I became a writer. My life education of running a business and being in a commission only sales position for ten years helped me see I did not need a small press, or an epublisher, to do what I could do on my own.

Here is what I've accomplished and why you might want to read about what I've learned:

My main Facebook Page, C.J. Ellisson, has over 10,000 followers at the time of this posting
I founded a group FB Page for EE, which is a Kindle blog with a paid subscriber list of about 800 per month. And the Page has over 2k FB followers, through mine and the teams' marketing efforts
I've recently launched a Reader Page on FB for authors and readers to interact and in less than one month live it has over 2k followers and over 350+ subscribers to the newsletter (exactly two have gone out so far). The concept is to help authors build up a email database of readers interested in their work, and it's working phenomenally well.
My debut novel released on Oct 2010 with a reader base of less than 500 (meaning it sold less than 500 copies within the first three months). By month five I'd sold around 2500 ebooks and thought things were going well, but I wanted to reach more readers. Within 12 months from its release, I'd built my brand and released the second book in the series and two unrelated novellas to sell 32k books total
I started out thinking I'd self-publish the right way: through my own company called Red Hot Publishing, a business license, a tax ID number, a block of ISBN numbers, and a business account -- not simply with my name slapped on as the "publisher". But within 30 days I took on 11 other authors and published an anthology making my company, RHP into a real small press. Since launch, we've taken on three more authors, published over three dozen titles, and sold close to 75k books in under a year.
I've done all of this and polished my craft in less than three years. Let me explain the significance of this: I never wrote a fictional word until February 2009.

Sure, we've all witnessed the successes of people like John Locke, Amanda Hocking, J.A. Konrath or H.P. Mallory, but none of them achieved what I have in three years from when they entertained the very idea of attempting to write their first book and typed the words "Chapter One".

Will I be able to guarantee your success in reaching readers? No, for all I know your product could be crappy. ;-)

Above all, don't even think of building your brand and reaching readers unless you have a product you can be proud of. That means a professional cover, professional editing, a damn fine story and excellent formatting. When you have all those things, then you'll be ready to learn.

Stop by in a few weeks and I'll reveal the FB Page dedicated to me sharing what I've learned and I'll roll out my first "beginners" series for free here on this blog.

For those of you reading this who have been loyal followers and are readers, not writers, please consider checking out the blog on my website, right on the front page. This is where I have been posting monthly for readers since this summer and will continue to do so, rather than here.

As always, thanks for your support! Without readers there'd be no point to publishing my work!

C.J.

~~ C.J. Ellisson ~~

Guest Speaker at Vamps at Sea – A vampire themed cruise to Alaska 6.23.2012

Facebook * Website * Everything Erotic * Digital Digest

10 Reasons Facebook Spanks Twitter's Ass

2011-12-07T16:55:00.001-05:00

1) "Following" people seems too much like stalking. If I want to get to know someone why am I "following" them? Why wouldn't I reach out in an actual conversation by commenting?

2) If you aren't on Twitter *right now* you miss shit. Facebook is more like a bulletin board you can leave messages on and pick up the conversation no matter the time zone. I've met people from all over the world this way. Love it.

3) The ability to filter who sees my ramblings. If I want to screen who sees what I post on Facebook, I can. On Twitter, once it's out there, it's OUT THERE for everyone to retweet, see, and laugh their asses off at you. And honestly, who do you want hearing about work issues and that your looking for a new job -- your boss or your friends in the industry with connections?

4) Tweets usually contain messages with abbreviated text and acronyms. It drives me effing bat shit crazy. Takes me twice as long to decipher WTF the sender means. And yes, I'm aware that last sentence makes me a hypocrite.

5) Twitter is ugly. A user's wall is one big background banner and a bunch of tweets. Really? How sad is that to look at when you are trying to connect with people? Sure, Twitter is trying to keep up by allowing pictures, but let's face it, they still suck donkey balls.

6) Select what I want to read and from whom. If I don't want to read the drivel one of my FB friends is spewing, I can select which types of posts I want to receive from them: all, most, lifetime moments, or nothing. I haven't done that to anyone yet, but I have a feeling with the upcoming presidential election year I may have to just to stop the influx of people spouting their opinions on candidates (helpful hint: your folks told you it's not polite to discuss politics and religion at parties for a reason. It's so we all don't have to experience how narrow minded you really are).

7) The two-second ability to edit my update. With Twitter I can delete and repost, but with FB I can actually correct a typo if I spot it fast enough. (hey, if you are reading this FB people, please insert an edit function like Google+, they at least got that part right. Oh, and while we're at it, take away the stupid option that hitting my enter key automatically posts my reply. Most users have no idea to do the shift + enter key for a paragraph break and I hate reading the "opps, it posted before I meant" babble. Another issue that would be fixed with an edit option.)

8) Spammers. 'Nuff said, right? These jerks seem to love Twitter, but don't bug people as much on FB. Dude, do not send me penis links or links to your porn site. Nor should a business "follow" me and then send me links to their product sites.

9) Twitter's lists suck when compared to Facebook's smart & friend lists. Sure, it makes it easy to check on certain people's latest Tweets, but it's still a jumbled mess if you have one person who tweets like twenty times a freakin hour. Why am I grouping people in lists for Twitter when it doesn't seem to have any functionality with who sees my Tweets?

10) Hashtag happy fools. You know #thepeople I'm #talkingabout. They want to group everything with search-ability hashtags. Are they aware that when searching for a desired phrase via Twitter, the search will populate with all matching findings, whether there is a damn hashtag on it or not?

Tune in next for why Google+ is never going to beat Facebook either. Why don't you all just drink the freakin kool-aid and learn to use it correctly? Sure, your grandma, your second grade teacher, your neighbor, your dry cleaner, and your high school crush might all be using it, but they haven't all mastered it.

Seriously? Why are you still using Twitter? Do you like having only 140 characters to express yourself? Or do you like having to send multiple Tweets and DMs to get your simple message across? I'll be the first to speak up and shout it: Twitter Sucks.

Facebook is an invaluable tool to the people who take the time to actually learn the ins and outs of it. I think I'd kiss Mark Zuckerberg if I got the chance, and yeah, he'd dig it.

:-D

~~ C.J. Ellisson ~~

Guest Speaker at Vamps at Sea – A vampire themed cruise to Alaska 6.23.2012

Facebook * Website * Everything Erotic * Digital Digest

The Days Are Brighter

2011-10-21T14:08:00.000-04:00

I've had a bad couple of weeks. Health has been poor and my head is pounding nonstop. No matter what I try it's temporary. But yesterday, it finally came to a halt -- hooray!!

No, I don't know what I did different, but I felt better and had no head pain. Today, my medical massage therapist came over and beat the crap out of me. No joking -- he said out of all his clients only one guy can take a pounding on his muscles as deep.

My attitude is if I need it, I need it. I'm not having these sessions so he can give some light-weight relaxing Swedish massage, so if it hurts I just try to relax and bear it. Seems to have worked 'cause I feel fabulous. It may only last a few hours, but hey, I'll enjoy it while I can.

Of course, the other high is from finishing my new cover for Big Game today.

I love it. And here it is for you to gander at in all its glory:

I think I may like this cover the best of all three. You may have your favorite, but this one is mine. My cover-making skills are growing by leaps and bounds, but no, I still don't plan on hiring myself out for covers. There are just not enough hours in the day.

My girlfriend, Joan, suggested I print the cover out and post it next to my computer for inspiration. I think she may be onto something. I did it, and while yes, my desk is incredibly messy right now, I do have its perfection to gaze at and keep me on track:

"Why aren't you writing?!?" You may ask.

I'm not sure. I got some words down earlier this week, but I think the medical sh*@ is weighing me down. I'm not going to go into a pity party here, that's not my style -- but I do know I have something messing up my writing mojo.

Another girlfriend, Marissa, said she was worried I was no longer enjoying the writing process. I think she may have nailed it. I've put so much pressure on myself to succeed, to reach readers, to write, edit, make covers, help other authors to publish, run the few day to day operations of the small publishing company and it's now 40 titles, that I've lost sight of the fun part of this job.

I've taken a bit of a hiatus from EE for two, going on three, months. It wasn't intentional. I just didn't want to write erotica. The stories didn't flow. I've kept up with DD and Ceara's Tales… and the Wicked writing blog, but after a while it all gets to be too much.

Why does it seem so easy when we plan it out -- "just sit your ass down and write" -- and yet it's so hard to do? My latest test results have revealed a few things, including my progesterone level is low. I read about all the things that happen if it is, which seems to fit the bill on my issues, so maybe that's it.

I strive so hard for balance and yet never seem to achieve it. I have lots of stories inside me aching to be told -- I won't be giving up. If you don't see me around online much please know I haven't abandoned you and quit writing. I'm still here. Just trying to figure out my life and get things back on track.

A part of me realizes if I don't start dedicating some serious time into getting better each day, that the end result will take much longer to reach. Nothing like reality to smack a fantasy writer in the face and send them for a loop.

Wishing you a powerful weekend -- make it count! Spend time with your kids, call your parents, or cook a comfort meal. Think I'll stare at my cover a little longer and then try to write.

Toodles!
C.J.

Subconscious Sabotage

2011-10-14T15:11:00.001-04:00

Yes, I have a self imposed deadline looming over me. I plan to get to the third book, don't get me wrong… I've just hit a little side track lately.

First, in early September I started an advertising campaign and did a revamping of my Facebook business page. The books were selling like hot cakes and I knew I had to make things more professional looking if I wanted to grow off the exposure.

The Facebook changes and advertising were prompted by an upcoming virtual book tour. I did an extensive month long blog tour in mid-September organized by Roxanne Rhoads' awesome company, Bewitching Book Tours. The tour was great! I met a lot of terrific readers and learned a valuable lesson -- plan ahead with all the blog posts. By the end of the month I wanted to poke my eyes out trying to write another witty and/or interesting guest post. So I was writing… just not on my third book.

Health wise I had some set backs and learned my treatment is going to go on longer than I thought. Six months ago I thought I was nearing an end, but some latest test results put a kabash on that. Moving on, no need to dwell on the depressing stuff.

Next, I fumbled with writing and publishing stuff and basically felt like I was floundering for days. Finding direction and sticking to it seems to be the hardest thing for me lately. Having an active family and kids with obligations, schoolwork, and extensive social lives certainly doesn't help!

I've refocused my efforts on my health so that we can hopefully end the skyrocketing medical bills soon. I'm working out regularly (yes, try not to be too shocked), I'm keeping up on the house, and cooking almost every day. This is *huge* for a person who had a hard time walking a few months ago. The muscle aches aren't gone, and some days suck, but overall it's getting better.

I started chapter two this week and I'm pleased with the results. I plan on writing over the weekend and getting my mind focused back on the storyline so I can start churning out words again. Is this writer's block I'm experiencing? My good friend Marissa told me that writer's block is simply anything that keeps you form putting words on the page. I don't know. I do know I've been reluctant to start and hesitant to get going with it… and for the life of me I can't figure out why.

The past two days I did my last "oh, I need to do this" project regarding my work. I updated my website and the layout of this blog. Now they all tie in to the series and hopefully look more cohesive and professional. Secretly, I think this was all a subconscious mental delay tactic to not actually writing… but, I did it and now it can no longer weigh on me.

There are so many things I want to write -- a how-to book for writers, my kids' fantasy book, a gluten free family guide, erotica shorts and sex toy reviews (yes, remember those?!?), and my V V Inn series. It's never been lack of ideas that was my problem. Right now, it seems all the ideas are weighing me down and confusing me on where to focus!

I know what I need to do. I need to sit my ass down and write. No complaining. No whining, just do it.

I'll keep you all posted. I've missed blogging on this personal blog. It's a nice release to gather my thoughts and not feel like I have to be super woman all the time. Thanks for listening.

Cheers,
C.J.

Domestic Abuse Awareness Month

2011-10-03T11:50:00.002-04:00

There are so many causes designated for different days, weeks, and months, that most of us will easily miss the next one and not know about it. Should we feel guilty? No. Life is too short to hold onto such a useless emotion.

We do wheat we can and we move on. But some causes hit closer to home for certain people. Like Breast Cancer, Autism, Diabetes… I could go on and on. While a lot of the conditions honored and spotlighted for public awareness can be inherited or your lifestyle can bring them on, many can be brought on by your environment (think nature versus nurture).

Like Lyme disease, asbestos exposure, Gulf War Syndrom… you get the gist. Knowledge is the key to overcoming or avoiding the issues thrust upon us in our daily lives that we don't genetically have a disposition to. Being aware of these dangers can often educate you enough to save another person as well.

I did not know there was a whole month dedicated to domestic abuse. Fellow Indie author, Darcia Helle, of Quiet Fury Books, did a shout out on Facebook last month for writers who either wrote a domestic abuse aspect into their story or suffered some form of domestic abuse to come forward and share their stories to honor the cause this month.

I felt such admiration for her effort I reached out to her. Interestingly enough, even though I did not know about the awareness month, I have suffered domestic abuse in my past. For people who know me well it seems rather shocking. I'm strong, outspoken, and know--without a doubt--my place in the world.

I spent four days crafting a piece worthy of inclusion on Darcia's blog. Her 1500 word limit was my biggest challenge. Hell, I write novels. Trying to pair it down to something cohesive, not overly depressing, meaningful, and yet ending on a good note was a huge task.

Darcia posts an excellent introduction in her Oct 1st post and I'm honored that she liked my piece enough to have it lead her kick off for the month of guest posts planned. She's gathered some great statistics in her post and I recommend checking it out.

I'm nervous on how it will be received. The personal experiences I wrote about happened twenty years ago and putting it all on paper brought a lot of the horror back. Things I pushed deep down and pleasantly forgot about. I know I'm not alone in this type of behavior. It's how we cope. You deal with it, you face the demons, you make choices, you move on.

Many, many women and families have suffered far worse than I have, and many more still do. Take a gander as I bare my soul and reveal things better left to the past:

http://quietfurybooks.com/blog/2011/10/c-j-ellisson/

And please, if you've suffered abuse yourself you can leave an anonymous comment on her blog or pass the link on to others. Survivors need to stick together. Hold your head up proud you got out of a bad situation and let go of the hidden shame that you were in one to begin with.

We all make mistakes and bad choices in life, it's how we deal with the consequences that defines us.

~~ C.J. Ellisson ~~

Guest Speaker at Vamps at Sea – A vampire themed cruise to Alaska 6.23.2012

Facebook * Website * Everything Erotic * Digital Digest

Becoming a Bestseller

2011-09-12T10:10:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure how many of you out there really keep track of terms in the publishing industry. I know a lot of them, but others I'm still learning day by day. Take the term "bestseller" for example.

Mid-summer I had Kobo contact me about distributing my books direct to them. Kobo is Canada's version of Amazon and their sales are good. I'd like to point out, I tried to get Kobo to work with me direct last fall and they politely declined. It was a rush to get an email from them asking to distribute my "bestselling" fantasy series. I didn't correct them on my bestselling status, just started the paperwork process to make things happen.

Then in August, I was invited by an author I work with to blog on their limited run blog, done solely to boost sales for an upcoming release. When I received the invitation it was with the kind words "I invited you because you're a best-selling vampire author (yay!)."

I sat there and read the phrase over and over. Should I write back and correct her? After all, I hadn't made number one yet on Amazon or B&N for my category, so could I call myself a bestselling author? I thought that's what it meant - you'd hit number ONE in a category.

A couple of weeks later, I followed a link to an author's website -- an author whose books I have been currently ga-ga over. The site listed their ranking on several bestselling lists and I noted none of them had ever held a number one spot.

So my confusion deepened -- could I actually be a "bestselling" author just for being in the top 100 on a list? Apparently, yes. I looked up this very helpful and detailed definition on Wikipedia and it explained things a bit better.

No one knows the precise formula used for books that make the NYT bestseller makes the list, because it doesn't just mean sales numbers -- but one big thing is the list is referring to print sales only. Interestingly enough, they don't include Internet sales, of either print or ebooks, when compiling who goes on the list.

Um, hello? What? Amazon and B&N have been leading the pack, with Apple close behind, on book sales for a very very long time. They have been dubbed "The Big Three" for ebook sellers. Borders book stores are closing all over the place and a lot of smaller mom and pop shops have gone to the way side within the past two years, with more to follow.

How can any list that claims to be a bestseller list not include Internet sales? Of course, now it makes it much easier to understand why Amanda Hocking hasn't made the NYT list. I think she's sold almost as much as John Locke (one million ebooks in five months).

Digesting all of this information has kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. Without realizing it, I became a bestseller back in June, before The Hunt (TH) even released. I did not resort to buying a bunch of my books to inflate sales. Nor did I do a mass email campaign.

I did do a mass emailing when The Hunt was released, but that was only because I finally had enough readers who had contacted me to make emailing them with the discounted price a viable option. Begging my close friends and neighbors will only result in about thirty books sold, so having an email list of real readers is key.

The result? Well, V V sat at #8 on Amazon for a few weeks and TH quickly followed to rise as high as #15. On B&N, V V ranked right under Charlaine Harris' latest Sookie book this past spring for a week or more. Both books have dropped considerable in the rankings since then, but they are both in the top 100 on Amazon and are still considered bestsellers.

Shocking, huh? Who woulda thunk it? Not me, that's for damn sure. Here I was getting called a bestseller by retailers and my peers and I was concerned I should email back and correct them, not wanting to appear a fake.

I don't accept praise well from my peers, I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I haven't been at this new career all that long yet and I still have all those scars from the Dorchester contest weighing on me. When you get attacked by peers you don't know and have done nothing to, who wouldn't be a little jumpy? Readers have always been more genuine, and easier for me to relate to.

I've often stumbled on industry concepts and terms because of my inexperience, taken a beating for my writing style of present tense, and had my work called porn because I like to write graphic sex into my books. I shake it off and move on, what else can you do, right? No way in hell am I going to let harsh words and opinions stop me from writing what I like.

I think what it really comes down to is simple gratitude. I'm more in tune with the readers because they are who I care about. When a reader gives me a compliment I know it's not blowing smoke up my ass. Unless they write to a bunch of people, I may be one of the first people they have ever reached out to about a book. Some of them have even said it in the emails they send me -- how freakin cool is that?

Those emails and notes make me feel like more of a bestseller than any number on a list ever will. Thank you. I cherish every note and will write back to every single person, it just may take me a few days.

Today's post kicks off a one month virtual book tour. With any luck, it will help to get TH and VV a little higher in those so-called lists ;-) I'll post links where ever I happen to be one day and hopefully if you have the time you can come by to say hello.

I've also started a "friendship rate" email capture campaign for book three when it releases. For two weeks only the second book will be listed at $.99. I'm not sure if the link will pull correctly here and insert the pretty email box, so if it doesn't, please try the tab on my facebook page.

Without you all, I'd never have made any bestseller list, and trust me, I'll never forget that fact.

Thank you,
C.J.
(off to continue writing Big Game)

Stop Volunteering and a Medical Relapse

2011-07-23T12:40:00.000-04:00

I haven't been writing much on my personal blog -- way too many other commitments right now. I've been working my ass off and losing direction quickly. Gee, is that possible? Yes, apparently it is.

Organizing a blog tour is easier than it used to be -- I'm hiring someone to do one for me. Yay! I haven't built up contacts with many book bloggers yet and I don't have time to cultivate more this late in the game when the second book has just come out three weeks ago. So, lay out some cash for a super-duper organized person who knows what they're doing and BAM, I'm done.

Will it work and will I gain sales? No idea, but I'm willing to try.

Next -- volunteering. I don't know what the eff is wrong with me sometimes. I read a book in my genre, or a book from a Facebook contact and I think "Oh, I can help them with this" and I rush off and write an email offering my time. I guess a part of me sees so much potential in other books I want to help the writers gain sales and build an audience. I've often felt the writing community is close and helpful, so I never hesitate to jump in and offer assistance when I can.

But recently it's backfired on me. One person accepted my time and effort on reformatting an entire print book when they felt they couldn't say no. Not because they were physically afraid I'd pull a Jersey-girl and come at them with my massive limb-ripping-off talents, but because they are always eager to please. Twelve hours later and it comes to light that they were happy with the product the way it is and I never should have offered to help.

Let me point out, this person is a sweet and caring individual and just because I wasted my time doesn't mean I'm angry with them - I'm angry at myself for volunteering when I shouldn't have.

Another time, I edited a short section of an author's work (with their permission) to illustrate it needs another editing pass. I spent hours on it, and wound up upsetting the person when I couldn't edit the entire manuscript. I never implied I would edit the whole thing, but I felt like I let the person down with my refusal.

One enterprising friend pointed out I should charge for my time -- but I thank that is a double-edged blade. If I charge, then I feel the person has a right to expect my time and my "A" game - a game I'm sorely off of right now.

My emotional reaction to these recent volunteer efforts proved that to me. I was insanely angry over the time I wasted on the formatting project. Time I put off from getting my own print book launched and the work due for the RHP writers who trust me to get things done. "Insanely angry" -- Does that sound like me?

Arm-ripping jokes aside, it showed me what I didn't want to face -- I was having a relapse of symptoms. Irrational anger and mood swings being one of the signs. All of a sudden, the joint pain, muscle problems, tiredness, memory problems, and reduced cognitive issues became more apparent. Couldn't ignore them anymore and think of them as temporary.

I've been experimenting with not taking my normal medications and supplements. When I started the anti-parasitic treatments this summer I allowed myself to slip with the others. After all, I'd felt fan-freakin-tastic for months now, surely I didn't need all those antibiotics, pro-biotics, liquids, powders and more supplements than I care to think about?

Umm… yes, apparently I still do need them. It's been a depressing week. I started with all the pills again last week, plus the fifth anti-parasitic medication on last Sunday, but had a major reaction when I went out Tuesday evening with friends and had three drinks over the course of the evening. I wasn't drunk by any means -- I think by age forty I should know that feeling quite well. I even stayed up 90 minutes past my last drink and had more water.

But the next day was hell and I couldn't take any meds at all, spending my morning in the bathroom vomiting bile. Also, by this past Monday (even after starting all the pills the previous Wednesday) my neuropathy came back in my hands and I started losing feeling in my fingers. I'm not that stupid -- it's no coincidence that I messed up on my supplements and antibiotics and a few weeks later my neurological signs came screaming back.

I really thought I had this thing beat. I'd felt better than I had in years and I sincerely hoped I could cut back on all the constant care this treatment required. It was a gamble, cutting back like I did, and one I didn't clear with my doctors first. I was so tired of all the pills and shit I just wanted a break.

Now, here I sit, my short-term memory shot and my moods erratic. Numb hands and weepy as I try to clear my head. I should be happy - I'm selling more books than I've ever sold in my life and starting to make some actual money. But I've spun so out of control with my health in such a short time I feel like I'm scrambling on a daily basis to appear normal.

I know what I need to do, it's what I've done for the past two years since these extensive treatments started. Step back, re-group, make a plan, and stick to it. I owe it to my children, my husband, and myself.

My writer friends will still be my friends whether I edit, make covers, format or answer their emails in under an hour. Most of them have stuck by me the past year when I've had some similar relapses and have offered their time to help me in a heartbeat (Thank you!).

Sure, we know I'm a fighter. I just need to narrow my focus for a while to two things during my work day - 1) My health 2) My writing.

Because hey, let's face it, book three isn't going to write itself and I've got some readers who are actually clamoring for it. Who would've thunk it?

The series is reaching people who like it -- and sure, some who don't and review it when they don't like it -- but overall things are good. I can't complain on that end.

So, let me quite my whining and go choke down my twelve pills and seven liquids with my lunch. Life can always be worse and this is just another bump in the road to getting better.

Wishing you all a good end of July!
C.J.

Got a KINDLE? We need your help!

2011-07-01T09:37:00.003-04:00

Today marks the day of a brand new Kindle venture called Digital Digest. I'm a part of the new subscription blog producing fiction and non-fiction from fifteen talented authors. We cover the gambit of genres from horror, sci-fi, romance, fantasy, paranormal, women's lit to flash fiction and book reviews.

Here's where YOU come in. There are over 12k+ blogs offered on the Kindle. We need to move our blog up from the bottom of the rankings so readers can find us in the top 100 list and give our blog a shot.

If you have a Kindle (device, not simply the application on another gadget), we'd love for you to sign up for a free 14 day trial. We don't expect you to stay after the FREE trial period ends, but we won't stop you from staying if you happen to like our content ;-)

Here's all you have to do:

1) Make sure you're signed in to your Amazon account and click this link.
2) Click on the orange button to the right that says "Subscribe now with 1-Click"

You're done! Yay! *I'm dancing my happy dance over here in gratitude*

Thanks so much and we really appreciate it! Anytime any of our fifteen members can return the favor, be sure to let us know.

As always, I wish you happy reading!!
C.J.

Updates and Other Fascinating Stuff

2011-06-21T10:51:00.000-04:00

I've been a whirlwind of activity lately and I'm not sure where to start. First off, my first and second editors on The Hunt have been happy with the MS. I still need to incorporate the final suggestions and flesh out/smooth over any spots the beta readers stumbled on, but overall, the thing is pretty close to DONE.

I had only one beta reader who wasn't as happy with the MS as the others. At first it hurt to read the stuff he didn't like about the novel, but not for why you might think. The two things he was most unhappy with I have no intention of changing, so I got my big girl panties on and realized two things -- one, he's entitled to his opinion, and two, it's impossible to please everyone all the time.

Next, as I realized I've been pouring my every waking moment into perfecting my prose to the best of my abilities, I've neglected other writing projects. The writing blog I'm on has taken a back seat for a while and I've decided to try and jump start it if I can. Time will tell if it's worth it, but I do plan on designing a whole "how to" series for writers that will detail what I've learned the past two years. Maybe it will bring writers to the page, maybe not, we'll see.

I plan on packaging the non-fiction pieces into an ebook to help other writers and sell it for super cheap. Will it sell? I have no idea. Is what I've done so hard? Can't another writer read the same books I have and glean the best tactics? Is it that the data is so overwhelming they'd rather not? No clue. Like I said-- might work, might not.

Here are some of the topics I plan to cover:

Format an ebook and/or format a print book
make your own ebook or full-wrap print cover or get one for free
upload to SW, Apple, B&N, Amazon (or how to do it and control your royalties better)
find beta readers
get reviews on your book
get book signings and how to act when at one
write compelling product descriptions
categorizing your book
pricing your books and tracking sales
going the next step and becoming a true publisher (which would include worldwide distribution steps and such)
what's in a press kit and how to make one
how to get speaking engagements
self-editing effectively
promo and marketing on a budget and the same topic with no budget
building your audience base
how to plot a book like Charles Dickens
how to hire an editor
know your audience
book trailers

If any of these topics interest you, please stop by Wicked Writers on Sundays, starting this month. I have to map out the most logical order of covering the topics and should be posting the first one this Sunday.

I went away this weekend and was unplugged except for my phone with email access. That may be laughable to some of you, but it's huge for a workaholic like me. I brought my lap top and never turned it on. I also brought my iPad and the damn thing didn't get any reception. In hindsight, it seems like the fates conspired to slow my ass down, but whatever it was, I'm glad.

The campgrounds were not all the great. The bathrooms were marginally clean and that's about the best I can say. Have I become a campground snob after all the other places we've gone to? Not sure, but I didn't care for the asphalt play area, the cramped camping spaces, the acres of mowed grass (hello, natural wood-like spaces?), or the "summer renters" who keep a trailer affixed to the same spot all year, decorate the whole "yard" and make us regular campers feel like we're imposing on their turf.

The transients, like us, were very nice. The people, in general, were friendly, but the amenities at the campground looked like they were last updated in the late seventies and the place just screamed of disrepair. The attraction was Lake Anna, I get it. But we don't own a boat and just came to relax and get a feel for the place. Pete liked the area, but not the campground, so I'm not sure if we'll be going back.

Sure, it may not have been a great place, but I still had fun. So did the kids, and thanks to some special attention from yours truly, I'm pretty sure Pete did, too. ;-)

I was able to map out a lot of things I'd like to accomplish this summer. My health has been good, despite the new meds and various tests results saying I'm sicker than I feel. So, why not dream big? No one will boo and hiss if I fail to meet my self-imposed goals. Being the only one accountable in my writing also means no one hounds me to produce... Except, of course, my eager readers ;-)

A few months ago, I had the magic number of five thousand in my head. If I sold five thousand copies, then V V would be viable candidate for the foreign market.

Well, not so, as I recently found out. My agent's foreign market counter-part is very, very busy and unwilling to take on a publication from a small press. So that means, if it's ever going to happen I'll need to pitch it and sell it myself. Am I up for that in addition to everything else?

No, I don't think I am. Perhaps when I research it some more I'll have a better idea, but for now I don't think it will happen. Which is slightly depressing, but them's the breaks.

My husband, Pete, has finished his master's degree and is going to come on board with Red Hot Publishing and spend the hours he used to dedicate to grad school work on my small company. Right now, it means doing the books and hopefully some marketing stuff. I'm thrilled to have him involved. It will be nice to have someone take more of the burden associated with wearing a publisher hat.

And that hat is getting heavier. I've offered contracts to a few friends I believe in and the work load is steadily growing. We're producing two to three books a month. We're building a solid editor base and making new contacts within the industry. I used to feel uncomfortable talking about RHP, like starting my own company made me less legit or something. But I've shaken that notion off for the most part.

Not many authors sell five thousand copies in nine months on their own, a lucky few do, but certainly it's not the majority. Over all, the company has sold close to twenty thousand books, not including free reads, which is over half that number already. Cover, pricing, product descriptions, categorizing books... the list goes on and on. Just like every new endeavor in life, we're learning as we go.

Lastly, my new release comes out in NINE days. Today and tomorrow will be final editing, formatting and such and then I'm going to upload the publication to our various outlets. The beta readers, except for one, love this book more than the first one. Was that my goal all along? No, I just intended to write a good tale and hope for the best.

Their kind words and praise left me over the moon with joy. Will other readers feel the same way? I can only hope. And when I disappoint a few I'll have to remind myself of what I wrote earlier in this post "it's impossible to please everyone all the time."

Exciting times! I sincerely hope you enjoy The Hunt, if you pick up a copy next week.

Self Publish! Make Millions! snort (or, how RHP came into being)

2011-05-09T10:39:00.006-04:00

If only my catchy headline were true. Articles about Amanda Hocking, Joe Konrath, Bella Andre, Selena Kitt, and Barry Eisler really pump up the success of a few writers going it on their own. But those articles are not the only stories.

Lots of struggling writers are finally taking their destiny in their own hands and going direct to the readers. The harsh truth is most of them will not succeed in selling over 100 copies of their books to people they don't already know. Is it because their book is not worthy? Is it because they didn't have it well edited? Is their cover not eye catching enough? More than likely, it's none of those reasons.

I've been in commission sales since I was 23. My first job in sales didn't earn me enough to pay the rent and I had to move back in with my folks for six months until I found a better paying sales job. Did I learn how to sell better when I switched companies? No, but the environment was different.

I remained in the same industry, but now worked for a much larger company. While the products I sold were very similar (mortgages), the one with the new company had better marketing, a better support staff, and filled a niche in the industry. The large company did their research and knew what was needed -- and they knew they needed sales people like me, who worked their way up from positions within the industry (One who knew what the eff they were doing. Not some guy/gal who used to sell insurance and decided they'd switch to mortgages).

As my sales increased and my close rate hovered between 80 and 100% each month, I was invited into big sales planning calls, to speak at meetings, flown to a few pow-wows, consulted in training, and then asked to train other sales staff. I was the only woman, at the time, in such a role in that region. I quickly rose through the ranks and hired people under me. At 25 I became an Area Manager covering three states. It was an exhilarating time. For that one and only time, I made more than my boyfriend.

I let the success go to my head (Me? Yes, I'm awesome! I can sell anything!) and when I was offered a salaried position -- with commission on top, plus I'd earn a commission on those under me -- I jumped. I should have looked before I leaped. The company was rinky-dink with high aspirations.

Little did I know the wine and dine treatment and high salary was done often in corporate settings to poach talent from larger companies. Hell, I was young and a woman. The only person I could ask for advice were my parents. No one else I knew was even close to a situation like I was in.

The same doors open to me when I worked for the big company were not opened to me now with the new company. I soon realized the name brand recognition combined with my knowledge and professionalism were what got me where I was so fast, not purely my ability to sell my own ass.

I signed my own death warrant with the new company when I got engaged to my husband. Pete lived in Jersey and my new career was in Virginia. My dad sat me down and had a brilliant talk with me. Did I want a career or did I want a family? I was at a crucial position where I would need to refocus on my education to get credited to move up through the ranks and yet still pour time to selling and increase my numbers. In sales, you are only as good as your last month, last quarter, or last year... depending on how lenient your company is.

We talked about a limited window on when a woman could safely have children, when a woman needs to find the right mate and not waste time on losers, how much time I was pouring into my job. I worked from 8 to 7 everyday. I was the first one in the office and usually met with brokers regarding clients even after hours... The talk was exactly what I needed and really made me think.

Before you get all antsy and think my dad did me a disservice by pointing out some harsh realities to me, let me share something else: I was already divorced. I naively got married at 19 and it ended when I was 21. He had a temper and became mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive to me about three months into the union. I hung on as long as I could and even went to marriage counseling, but as the minister said at my third visit (and yes, you know I was serious if I went to a minister because I don't participate in organized faith), "It's nice you're still coming, but if he doesn't it won't do any good."

I threw myself into my career and struggled with an education when I returned from my "unfortunate incarceration", as I not-so-lovingly refer to that time in my life. I accepted all the debt on our credit cards without dispute so I could get the hell away from my ex, and I got by as best I could. As my dad said to me yesterday, when he was here for a mother's day dinner, "You got the shit kicked out of you pretty early in life."

So what the hell does this have to do with selling and making it? Crap, I got off the topic a bit, sorry. Back to the real story -- my downward career spiral after getting engaged.

I knew if this new marriage was going to work I'd have to give every ounce of myself and not hold back. Not live in fear that this man would turn out like my first one. I needed to have faith in myself that I'd learned from my poor choices and could now spot an asshole at ten paces. And I knew, if I ever wanted to have children, that I'd have to support my fiancé in his career and allow mine to take a back seat. I didn't want my kids raised by someone else and have my husband and I to grow apart because we were working too much.

Best thing I ever did. Sure, I stopped making a lot of money. I stopped being a wunderkid only a few years after I started. At 26, I stepped out of sales and went into underwriting, and then corporate training, so I could scale back my time at the office. At 27, I got married and at 29, I was pregnant, my daughter born weeks after my 30th birthday.

But what did this give me as I got older and my kids went to preschool and I had a chance to go back to work? Lots of perspective.

I knew what it took to sell as a nobody, completely on my own working for a company no one even heard of (and which closed a year later). I knew what it took to sell with a big name behind me and the level of professionalism it demanded. And, I knew what it took to sell with a small name and lots of responsibility piled on me.

Hands down, the easiest selling was when I worked for the big national company. I had clout. I had a "name" behind me. It was perceived that I was already good before anyone spoke to me, or I wouldn't have had the title and been hired in the first place.

When I went back to work at 35, I became a Realtor. Please don't think I wasn't working the time between - I was. I just wasn't getting paid. In addition to motherhood, cooking, cleaning, being an errand girl, and managing all our finances, I learned how to flip homes.

I used my mortgage knowledge to gain us special government funded loans for re-habing primary residences. We lived in the homes as we worked on them. Once the two year mark hit, we'd sell it and move to the next one. We flipped homes before there were any damn TV shows about it. The first one we bought was in '98 and the last one was in '04 (we did three homes total). We snowballed the profits into a 150k down payment on our last home, the one we're currently in and have no plans to sell until our kids are out of college.

My mortgage background and number crunching abilities gave me the power our young family needed to make smart choices. My husband focused on his job and let me deal with the time consuming crap he couldn't care less about at the time. I hired contractors, I taught myself how to do a job, and consequently, I knew when a job was done wrong. We'd work side by side on the weekends and hire a babysitter to keep the kids safe while we worked with power tools.

In 2006, as a Realtor, I had the opportunity to go with a large name, but instead I went with my mother's company. A small brokerage with a handful of agents. I knew from experience that Realtors often changed companies if a higher percentage offer was made. The scared ones stayed with one name, afraid their customer base would be lost. Realtors are the KINGS of selling yourself. They build solely on a name, their name. Not the company name. That way their reputation and what they build follows them no matter what.

The real estate market changed dramatically when I got on the scene. Even though I had some small success my first year out, I could see the writing on the wall. The crash had already started here in DC and I'd waited too long to jump in. I switched gears and started managing rental properties in addition to selling homes. I was slowly and steadily building that end of things when I first became noticeably sick. And by "noticeably", I mean couldn't ignore it anymore, so I must have been sick for three or four years.

Fast forward past the boring sick parts and stuff -- you have me, poised on a new career. One I could handle while trying to beat the diseases ravaging my body and stealing my strength: writing.

I was appalled when I first started learning about the publishing industry. From my own business experience the entire model looked antiquated out of the 50's, and the pay sucked. Why would anyone embark on this as a career when there was no rhyme or reason to how it could work? 7-8% percent profit to the person who wrote the damn book? One thousand dollar advance for some Harlequin lines and if you don't earn out your advance you can kiss your chance of another book goodbye?

Were writers smoking crack? I'd earned less than 1% in sales commission based on the loans I did (they were referred to as basis points, a percentage of 1%). I earned a percentage of the sale of the house, usually 1% (I had low percentage packages to entice buyers and sellers). And I earned 8% of the rental income per month on properties I managed. And I did not own these things. Why would anyone give the lion's share and accept scraps on their creation? Should the galley owner earn more than the artist on a sale?

How is it, I could profit even less on an endeavor that takes me months to achieve (writing a book)? It seemed ass backward and stupid. Why did people put up with this crap? Oh yeah, because none of them knew a way around the big six and the smaller gatekeepers as well.

Does no one understand a flat fee rate? Why give people a higher percentage than YOU on your sales for the entire lifetime of your work when they did a few hours editing, cover design, marketing and promo work for you? Literally, a few weeks of work and they profit for the lifetime of the book?

In 2009 when I first decided to self publish it was apparently a very *bad* idea on my part. I got poo-poo'd by my peers and I stupidly listened. After all, what the hell did I know? I'd only been an avid reader and business person my whole damn life. If I had launched when I thought to, back when very few were doing it... things may be very different for me right now regarding sales... or they may be worse. You never know ;-)

But, instead, I got an agent and I played by the rules. Only 2010 turned out to be the year everything changed in publishing. Before I landed my agent, I had already laid out a business plan, registered a publishing name on my existing business license, and opened bank accounts to self publish.

The pieces were in place and everything was put on hold so my agent could try and sell my book. Thankfully, I sat down with hubby and we decided to give it only six months. If it didn't sell then I'd self publish it and see where the chips would fall.

But here's the rub -- when you have a great idea and you plan it out well, other people sit up and take notice. I launched an entire Kindle blog idea around the possibility of exposing my work to readers, and found a dozen women pretty quickly who also thought it was a great idea. It took a lot of time, and yes, looking back I wish I spent more of that time writing, but it worked.

When I went through the time-consuming process of learning how to format a book properly, I offered to do the same with the group's blog posts every month and package them as an ebook. Once I crossed the line and published someone else's work, I was no longer self-publishing, but truly a publisher. It a few months we had a solid readership.

The months of work I'd done on a business plan and opening accounts to make myself a true publisher came into play. We had a world wide distribution agreement with Lightning Source, a division of Ingram, before anyone on the team even knew what the heck I was doing.

The group trusted me to make decisions and do research... which of course, I did. I learned why the big switch to agency pricing is not in the writer's best interest and why the wholesale pricing model is better. And I don't have time to explain it well, because this long ass post is certainly long enough -- but wouldn't you rather make 70% on your $1.49 teaser price than 35-40%? Agency pricing means the RETAILER sets the percentage a writer gets paid and wholesale pricing means the PUBLISHER sets their wholesale price, dictating they get a guaranteed amount on each sale.

Throughout this entire journey, I had one thing clear in my thoughts: I would never take a profit on another writer's work. If I arranged the editor, the editor would get paid. If I lined up the cover artist, the artist would get the full amount, not me. If a promo company is hired, the same thing. I should not get a flat percentage for a few emails and hours spent organizing my own business needs. If anyone gets paid to do this for a writer I think it should be a flat fee. But a reasonable one, not like the way vanity presses took advantage of ignorant people.

I was doing it all anyway for my own venture, so setting it up right for other authors was easy. When I sent out contracts in January, a mere four months into the venture, not one writer balked at signing it. It's a simple contract that basically states all the one time billable fees are removed before you get a profit. And once the fees are met, you get ALL of the remainder for the lifetime of your work being published through Red Hot Publishing (RHP).

It further states that the author retains all rights and RHP will never seek to sell them (foreign, film or otherwise) on the writer's behalf. The author can re-post their work on their site, give it away for free... whatever they'd like. The entire goal when we started producing monthly ebooks with our content was to reach readers. Once we did and we started making money, we had to quickly set something up to make sure I wasn't paying for stuff out of pocket and not getting paid back.

But honestly, that's pretty much it. I never wanted a profit on someone else's hard work. I wanted an avenue to sell my work and to receive the gain for my time and effort, not split it with a small or large publisher. In today's day and age, it falls more and more on the writer to self promote and get "out there". Why would this venture be any different?

We have fifteen writers with RHP now. There was a learning curve where I had to let two writers go; the reasons were different and not related to how the company is designed, but it was difficult nonetheless.

Essentially, what we have now is a publishing co-op under one larger umbrella. Each author is responsible for their own work, their own files, their covers, the title, their level of distribution, print or ebook only, setting the price, deciding on advertising... you get the drift. The whole kit and kaboodle.

The only right RHP retains is the right to refuse to publish a work. This was a safeguard to ensure books were well edited. Whether I like a book or not is not the issue -- it just has to be well edited. If the writer didn't write it well, didn't tell a gripping tale, didn't get an enticing cover, or pick a title that "speaks" to a reader... then it's all on their head, not the company's. When you stop to think about the varied tastes of readers, who am I to judge if a book is worthy? And for that matter, what publisher is?

RHP doesn't have a marketing department or a team of paid employees. But that also means we have no one sucking the profits out of your hard work. This model isn't done anywhere else that I have seen so far.

We're a small company with a bookkeeper managing the books and everyone's profits paying a flat fee to pay the accounting and corporate tax filing (that's one of the flat fees I mentioned earlier). The company may be set up to earn zero profit, but every corporation has a cost of doing business and my meager profits are not enough to cover it all right now.

As a group, we're stronger. As a group, the billable fees for anthologies is much lower. Even the accounting end of things only comes to $8.33 per writer per month-- and considering we sell over 400 books a month on our anthologies we have plenty to cover it.

This business model only works if you're a good writer, with a solid team of supporters you can turn to during the creation of your work, and can do all the technical aspects on your own. And the technical aspects are exactly what a self-published author must face on their own in today's market. Except with our model, an author gets worldwide distribution, listings in all the Books in Print catalogues, and an actual company name behind them.

Sure, the name is what they make of it... but in the end, isn't that the same in every endeavor?

Would I go with a large big six like Amanda Hocking did for two million? Probably yes. First and foremost, like any sales job I've ever had in my life, it's hard work and time consuming. Sure, I've sold a fraction of what she and the others have done so far. But I've only been at this new career for a little over two years. I think when you calculate two years from when any of them even thought to write "Chapter One" I've got them all beat. Could just be wishful thinking on my part, though. ;-)

I'd like to focus solely on writing, this other stuff really sucks the life right out of you. I'd grab that brass ring if I saw it. But until then, I'll make my own way. I've done it before and I sure as hell don't balk at a little hard work.

I know I'm not the only one out there who isn't afraid of hard work. Our nation was built on it. Dream it and make a plan to get there -- then do it. Don't sit on your ass waiting to be discovered, hoping for the big bag of money and the dream contract to finally come. As my buddy Andy tells his kids "tell your own story."

C.J.

Good News!

2011-05-03T14:10:00.004-04:00

I'd love to report The Hunt is completely written and ready to launch... but alas, no, that is not my good news today. I had a great doctor visit yesterday with my uber Lyme specialist and I wanted to share.

Physically, I've been feeling great the last two months. Sure, I get set backs with muscle problems and seasonal headaches from the storm fronts... but overall, I've felt better than I have in years.

My clinical exam really surprised the doctor -- she said my joints were good, no swelling, my skin looked good (I used to turn red when she touched my skin and my finger tips were the wrong color? umm... okay). And some other stuff I have now promptly forgotten... but she did say my physical appearance doesn't match my most recent test results. Which apparently say I'm sicker than I feel -- but getting better.

I have put one auto-immune disease into remission already. The new one diagnosed in January called Sjögren's. Yay! One down and two more to go!

My adrenal stress test results came back revealing why I have trouble sleeping. Turns out my body cycle is off and I'm releasing/producing lots of cortisol and other stuff that peaks at midnight. If any of you have suffered from sleep issues -- either going to sleep or waking up, then I recommend you do the weird salvia spit test for a day.

I took my first dose of recommended supplements to balance out my adrenal gland function last night. I fell asleep faster and woke up before the alarm. And for any of you that like to self-medicate without getting a test done, here is what's working for me:

From Interplexus, Inc - Seriphos - Phosphorylated Serine Adaptogen and Adrenal Support. Dosage: 2 @ bedtime

From Biotics Research Corp - Cytozyme-AD (an neonatal bovine adrenal complex . Am not thinking too hard on taking that one, just doing it) Dosage: 2 @ breakfast

From Complimentary Prescriptions - Cortisol Control. Dosage: start with 1 at dinner and if I don't fall asleep well to try two, then three. But if I have trouble getting up in the morning then to back off the dose.

The doctor went on to report that I'm doing much better than she anticipated and will probably not need to get another round of IV antibiotics done. Essentially, if we can balance my immune system naturally and get it strong again, I can beat the rest of the Lyme in my body on my own -- like a normal person, yay!!

Other tests showed I have a chronic H. Pylori infection that hasn't been beaten by five months of antibiotics. I may also have a parasite causing the Eosinophilic problems in my throat... but, that's treatable when they determine what parasite it is. *Note to self, never drink water from a lake, pond, steam, or foreign country ever again.

Still more tests revealed my first rounds of chelation have produced no excessive heavy metals in my body -- and for anyone treating a disease that has a biofilm, like Lyme, these heavy metals are bad. They can form a protective shield around the bacteria, not allowing antibiotics, or your immune system, in to kill it. The test results could mean I'm not extruding any heavy metals yet, and we need to do a few more months of chelation. Or I could be one of the lucky few she's seen in her practice who do not have a lot of heavy metals in their body.

Would be nice if I turned out to be that lucky. I'm not counting on it.

Am I all better? No. Will I perhaps have a set back with flare ups? Don't know.

But facing a summer without a port in my chest or a picc line in my arm is a good thing. Surprising your doctor with how well you're feeling (and looking) when they didn't expect it feels amazing. I'm on the right path. Sure, it may not happen overnight, may take 6 to 9 more months... but that's way better than a lot of other sick people in the world and I'm grateful there appears to be an end in sight.

I feel good. My body doesn't ache. My knees aren't giving out on me. I've been able to walk more and longer. My hands are no longer numb. My raging temper has been curbed. My brain fog is less and my memory... well, okay. My short term memory still sucks but I'm doing better.

Oh - and discovered a "no detectable trace sulfites" organic red table wine that I enjoy when mixed with seltzer (I was never a red wine fan, so that is huge for me!).

Overall, life is good. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Now, I can get my ass in gear with writing. I will make my deadline, dammit!!

Wah-pesh! Shut up and WRITE!!! ;-)

Cheers,

C.J.

Vegas, Baby!!

2011-04-05T14:44:00.004-04:00

Oh, God. Where to begin? I guess the best tales are told from the beginning. It's probably good I start with my recollections from the get go so I don't forget them later as the time zone fog fades.

First off - girls weekend? Bridal shower? Relax and de-stress? Writers retreat? Vegas is all of the above and more! Never have I had such a guilt free weekend away from my kids, and until you have one, you don't know how bad you need it!

My main partner in crime, Boone Brux, arrived before I did and waited in the lobby watching me struggle with the door while trying to enter the Mirage. We immediately hit it off like old friends. No awkward "Wow, it's you in person and what do I say?" type of thing.

We wandered the hotel, getting a feel for it. Ventured out to the gorgeous pool and became frustrated when we couldn't get alcohol as easily as we'd hoped. We toasted our first drink of the weekend before noon on Friday in the hotel bar, and were entertained by the sights around us and the sad story of thievery shared by the bartender. I don't know if this happens to a lot of you, but total strangers often tell me the most interesting things.

After an early checkin around one, we set off to gamble. We discovered a really fun monopoly game that you play in a grouping of machines. You each have your individual game, but if you play long enough and hit a qualifying round, you can all play on a big screen and get more cash.

The people watching on the main floor was enough to keep our tongues wagging for hours. Short skirts, spike heels, swimsuit clad people who should have had cover ups strolling through the casino and hotel to get the the elevators, oh - and Boone's personal favorite - short shorts with heels. Gives a whole new level to the "I'm on vacation and I'm a tramp" look.

For me, I was really amazed at the amount of women who chose to dress like whores. I'm sure the real whores you couldn't pick out in a line up. But, hey, I bet Jim in the polo and khaki shorts is really proud his girlfriend, wife, fiance, took the effort to look so freakin cheap. I'm not sure if it's a generational thing, but I don't recall even in my worse clubbing days of ever being mistaken for a 'ho.

Which, of course, led Boone and I to devise a game called 'ho tipping. We didn't actually do it, but it sounded like fun. Picture the basic cow tipping game, now combine it with a micro dress that barely covers the bottom of women's ass and 4 inch spiked heels. Add liquor and the game is all about timing. Should we help the game along and drop an ice cube? Should we bump them with one of our solid hips?

Ahh... good times...

We called our writer buddy up who lives in Vegas, Nae, and she met us in the lobby. She admitted she was nervous when she met us, but it must have faded fast because we had a blast chatting with her. Walking down the strip on a Friday night to a nearby restaurant turned into an event all by itself. We quickly started collecting what Boone called "boobie cards."

Baseball sized cards picturing nearly nude women with price tags. Cheap price tags too. Like $37, $49 with coupon. "With coupon?!?!"

We couldn't figure out why such hot chicks would sell their wares so cheap. Turns out they don't. Nae asked an ex-prostitute friend who said that's the price for getting in the door. And the girls on the cards are not usually there. Figures. The 'ole bait in switch is still big everywhere!

Collecting these cards soon became a game in itself. "Let's play fake or real." And we proceeded to call out fake or real when examining the woman's breasts. One or two even had mis-aligned stars covering their nipples indicating a shoddy boob job (one nipple is way higher than the other), which was a moment of pity for us over 40-year-old ladies... "Aww, poor thing. Look how she got robbed on a bad boob job."

Good times I tell ya.

We had a great dinner, chatting the evening away for hours, and then wandered back to the hotel. After a day of flying and time changes we were pretty wiped.

Saturday started bright and early - and I do mean early. We met my friend Wendy for breakfast at 8:15. Wendy was the original planner of this weekend, but we found out the three other couples joining her and her husband were at another hotel -- and here is the kicker, most of them arrived late on Friday and were leaving Sunday right after breakfast. Boone and I felt like we had hit the lottery with having the whole day Friday and Sunday and flying home mid-day on Monday.

The long brunch-like breakfast ended and all three of us went shopping. The crush of people on the strip was staggering. I've never been overly fond of crowds and I felt like I had to dodge people constantly. I can't see the economic plight of our nation has hurt Vegas much, but who knows what it was like before, these crowds may be less than normal.

We saw the moveable statues at the shops in the forum at Caesar's and did some souvenir buying. Oh - and new shoes! Boone and I got our feet measured electronically and bought some sandals with arch support. First time my back hasn't hurt in ages and I was able to keep walking the whole day without limping. Needless to say, I wore those damn shoes every hour after that -- not one of the five freakin pairs I brought with me.

More gambling after the shopping and we're late to get ready for the big event because we actually win a little at our new favorite game. Nae comes by the room since we're not done yet, and she bring her tarot deck. She does a reading for Boone and I -- it was awesome!!

The reading reinforced what I was thinking regarding slowing down on the business side and starting to produce more work. Boone liked hers too - we both felt it was like a nice jolt from the universe. Very cool.

Nae drove us down to the Excalibur for dinner before the show. The bar, Dick's Last Resort, was loud and fun and the food was okay, but the drinks were fabulous. We stand in line to get into the much anticipated Thunder Down Under like a pack of giggling school girls.

We meet the 84-year-old Evelyn, who was at her second show this week, with her grandson's wife while waiting in line. When I saw her pulled up on stage later by one of the dancers, who proceeded to run her hands down his body to cup himself outside of his jeans, she surprised the young stud by zipping her hand down the inside of his jeans and grabbing his junk direct!

We also met a woman on a business trip who lives the swinger lifestyle. I'll call her "M". M gave me her email and I invited her to meet us after the show so we could pump her for information on the swinger scene. At some point, the night seemed to morph into something out of a movie. Evelyn and M? Who meets people like that everyday? It was extraordinary to say the least.

Seated at our tables in the semi-darkness, it finally hits me. I'm sitting with four or five hundred women waiting to ogle really in-shape men. I'm not sure what Chippendales is like, but this show does not allow tipping. We didn't need to stuff dollars and feel like sad women. We just got to cheer at the beauty of the men on stage.

And beautiful they were! It was awe inspiring to see these guys preform. I think every woman should go to a show like this once in their lifetimes. To think - guys get the eye candy of strippers everywhere -- whereas we're relegated to whatever we can see of an actor on the silver screen or a model in an ad.

The three of us chatted about what it might be like ahead of time - would we see the guy's junk? Did we want to for that matter? Surprisingly, we all said we'd rather not see it. Kind of loses the mystery. Thankfully, the people running the show must have done their homework. The tiniest the guys stripped down to was a g-string and that was enough for me.

The guys were unquestionably hetero. Gay men move better on stage. The moves were choreographed and kind of stiff at times. But they looked like they were having fun with it. My only complaint was the lack of ethnic diversity. They were all white -- but tanned a golden bronze. Beauty comes in all shades and sizes. I would have loved to see some other nationalities.

I get that Australia is an island founded by Europeans, but so was the U.S. and look at the diversity we have here. Okay, moving on - back to the men. They were breathtaking. I've been with a lot of good looking men in my years, but none of them looked even close to the oiled, hard flesh dancing up on stage.

Oh - and they jumped onto the tables and danced in front of you down in the VIP section - which is where we were (of course, right? You're gonna do it spend the extra 12 bucks you cheap skate). The men wisely focused on the brides, which was funny to watch. Most of the giggling blushing girls were too uncomfortable to do much. A few hugged the men. The older ladies, like us, were torn -- did we want to be pulled up on stage and possibly be embarrassed?

By the end of the night, I might have gone up there. Just to show the younger set it is okay to touch as long as you don't grab and you don't go into "private" zones. Hell, they would grab your hands and run them down their chests -- why ball your hands up and close your eyes like you're in shock? Freakin' live the moment, honey!! Stroke, touch, explore -- but don't cross the line Evelyn did and actually grab the guy's package.

I was amused she groped the guy, but I also felt a little sorry for him. I hope they get paid well. If the situation were reversed, by some twist of fate and a miracle I was in really amazing shape, I would not want to be a dancer who just had an 84 year old man slip his hand under my waistband and grope my crotch on stage.

I did have an OBE (out of body experience) early on in the show. Eight guys came down in the audience high-fiving ladies, dancing on tables, hugging brides, whatever... and one trots down the aisle toward our table. I do what every good sales person does -- I make eye contact. He locks eyes with me, passes me a moment, does a double take and comes back. He cups my cheeks in both hands and places a tender kiss on my right cheek.

Shock has set in and I barely register the dual twinkle of his earrings, his short brown hair, five o-clock shadow and tattoo down his right forearm. Holy crap, he just kissed me. Then he jumps up onto our table and does a private little dance for us, which was over way too soon. Once he leaves I squeal like a little girl. "Which one was it?" I couldn't recall exactly who he was in the dim light.

All night I looked for the guy to come out and do a dance routine. The writers at the table were quickly staking claim to whom they were going to immortalize in an erotica story. I thought I was losing my mind, where was the one who kissed me? Which was when it hit me they all look very similar. Out of eight guys, one is shaved, two have lighter hair, but for the most part they were all brunettes.

We finally spotted him at the end of the night when the long line of women were going up on stage to have their pictures with the studs, he must not have been slotted to preform in the first show.

One of the most memorable routines had a guy come out into the audience on a table and pour water all over his chiseled body and shake his head and spray water on everyone. Could also be that I recall his act because I reached out and gave him a light smack on the ass as he ran by.

Good times. So good in fact, that I bought a DVD of one of their shows to "study" later for research. Hey, if I plan on writing a story with a male exotic dancer in it then I want to *cough* get things right.

There was a fireman act with a bunch of them, a western one in plaid shirts done to "Save a horse, Ride a Cowboy." Evelyn molesting the emcee was done to "Bad to the Bone." Interestingly enough (besides the cowboy song), almost the whole show was done to classic rock -- another detail that screamed hetero male to me.

By the end of the night, I felt it went by in a blur. I wanted pictures. I wanted a conversation. Hey, I was half in love with the shaved head one and another one with a super cropped hair and piercing blue eyes... yum. I now understand why men go to these kinds of things, but I wish there were more of them for ladies. It's not fair!

The show was safe, fun and a rousing good time. I screamed and cheered so much I lost my voice. Today is Tuesday and I still sound like I have a frog in my throat. Sexy, yes. Chain-smoker, yes. Or like I have a really bad hangover -- which I don't.

Overall I really didn't drink a lot during the weekend. You don't need to be smashed to have a good time in Vegas. The energy alone should be able to transport you.

After the show we met M and chatted for over an hour about the swinger lifestyle -- and yes, I took notes.

Sunday was an early brunch with Wendy, her husband Andy, and two of their friends from college. It was at Max Brennan's, a place with awesome hot chocolate. The group left for the airport while Boone and I still had the whole day ahead of us. We shopped some more and wandered back to the hotel.

Our spa treatments started at 1:00 and we showed up at 12:15. We soaked in hot, then cold, whirlpools while sipping citrus drinks. We each had a facial and then lounged around in the relaxation lobby before getting a pedicure. It really was the best way to end the weekend -- relaxing, and just enjoying being in the moment.

The soothing environment, relaxing music.... the whole atmosphere made us wish we were loaded and could stay and get treatments for hours. We left and gambled a bit before dinner. Neither one of us won big or lost big, but we still had fun. Dinner at the Brazilian Steakhouse, Samba, conjured lots of interesting meat-on-a-stick jokes. And the South American servers certainly inspired more erotica musings on our part.

It was impossible not for it to "go there" with handsome men asking if you'd like to try their meat, I mean come on -- we're only human!

Our relaxing vibe continued after dinner and we went and picked up snacks to watch a movie in the room. We re-hashed a lot of the weekend and just had a great time not rushing for a few more hours.

Monday morning dawned all too soon and I, for one, would have liked to stay longer. Boone and I felt like long lost sisters, never a dull moment and never an awkward one between us.

I can't recall the last time I had so much fun without my husband. Hanging out with another writer -- one whose mind works a lot like your own -- was exhilarating. We spent some time discussing an actual piece on Monday morning, but most of the time we talked about people, the things around us, made jokes, talked about the industry as a whole, or just shared our experiences as writers.

When you write, you're solitary in your creation. Getting to socialize with other writers really helps you to stay grounded and focused. Even when you are yelling at men to take their clothes off and you slap an ass or two as it runs by.

We made a vow we're doing it again next year. I've been to RWA Nationals. I had more fun and learned more in Vegas. And it cost me way less. I'll be back for the research value alone!!

20 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

2011-03-28T10:30:00.002-04:00

My buddy, Marissa, did this on her blog. She got the idea from Twitter and it looked like fun, so I thought I'd give it a go...

1) I used to sail in college. I learned on a 19' Olympic with a Windmill sail. I also sailed on a wooden Lightning and a 29' yachting Skip Jack (meaning not one used to fish).

2) I used to be a club-hopping party girl in Manhattan, starting at the age of 16. Which was of course doable since I also had a side business of making fake driver's licenses for my friends (not many, so don't think too poorly of me! ;-)

3) I have a serious spelling problem, which is why I rarely compose handwritten notes.

4) I'm either highly organized or floating in chaos, it never seems to be one or the other.

5) I want another puppy, but promised my husband I'd wait until next year when I was healthier. It's better than saying I want another kid, right?

6) I can no longer drink wine, because of my allergy to high concentrations of sulfites, and yes, it freakin' sucks.

7) I was in two bikini contests when I was a teenager, and no, I didn't win. I should get points for being bold and trim enough to do it.

8) I enjoy my dogs sometimes more than my kids (note I said "sometimes", no hate mail please) because they listen better and can't talk back. My friends tease I'm a true alpha and the dogs worship me. What's not to love about that?

9) I love to go camping in our travel trailer. And yes, I am aware it is more of a moveable hotel room rather than true camping, but I still love it.

10) I almost joined the military right out of high school. I was annoyed when, at the time, women were not allowed in combat. My father pitched a major fit when the recruiters started calling the house and talked me out of it.

11) I met Pete when I was in high school and he was going into his freshman year in college. We were introduced in a cemetery were he and his buddies used to hang out and drink. No, I'm not kidding about the cemetery part. He even jumped into an open grave to impress me.

12) I've always longed to learn the piano.

13) I took French in junior high and high school and Spanish in college and barely recall either. I plan to re-learn Spanish this year.

14) My husband is my best friend.

15) I'm overly protective of what my children are exposed to because the world has changed so much since I was their age. I worry about them losing their innocence too early.

16) I work so hard at writing and publishing because I desperately want to make enough money to cover my increasing medical care.

17) I wanted to be a chef, then a vet, then an architect before I went to college.

18) I have an extensive background in art - my work was first on display when I was ten and I began studying in earnest when I hit junior high. I sold my first piece when I was 15.

19) In high school and college I was hired as a party-runner, meaning they planned everything and I executed it on the day of the event so the hostess could relax.

20) I've never been popular, and I've never belonged to a clique of friends. I've always marched to the beat of my own drum and found friends who loved me for me -- faults and all.

Hmm.. some sound interesting and others quite boring... I bet that's pretty normal.

What's in a Cover?

2011-03-18T13:30:00.000-04:00

This is the question I've been asking myself a lot lately. When I ran the cover contest for V V back in the summer of '09 I had no idea if a publisher would accept the image or not. It was simply a fun way to generate interest in my book, my work, and get to know the people on Facebook supporting me.

Enthusiasm was high and responses from new supporters was great. Fast forward to over a year later and I try to run a contest again for book two. Response is luke warm and I only receive one entry. But that's okay. It's a nice entry and I like it. I think it doesn't pop like I'd hoped, but I still like it.

This week I decided to experiment with some fun new covers. Something fresh and light-hearted. Here's the rub -- I think these covers will only appeal to women readers. Women buy most of the books in my genre... so I don't think appealing to a woman buyer is wrong.

A few readers have told me the new covers don't reflect the dark aspects of the book, and I agree. This whole cover idea is an experiment. I've read some really well done books that had fluff covers and I understand why the covers were used, it's marketing science. It's all about catching a buyer's eye.

Here we have my original cover, also done in print:

I fell in live with this the moment I saw it. It really captures the feel of the book. But in a small thumbnail, the details can disappear quite easily. The eye will skim right past it. In print it pops and it's breathtaking (okay, that's just my opinion).

The book is based in Alaska, above the Arctic Circle, in the heart of winter. A light bright cover doesn't seem to fit the setting. The subject matter is not truly dark, but it's not chick-lit either.

I spent hours pouring over best selling covers and product descriptions. I found that while the bright cover caught my eye, it was ultimately what was on the back of the book that sold me.

In that vein, I developed this new ebook cover. Sassy, glamorous redhead who looks frivolous -- just like the front Vivian portrays to the world. Cold looking background with appropriate animals - Viola! Now we just have to sit back and wait to see how it does.

I designed a cover for the freebie short I'm giving away (wrote it for a contest this past fall) from the original vector image the redhead was in. The whole point of the giveaway was to tack on 16 chapters of V V at the end, in the hopes it would reach new readership.

Will it work? I have no idea. But I plan to giveaway as much of my work as I can in order to reach readers.

What is it about these fun covers that appeal to readers? Is it the bright colors? Is it the simplicity? I'm not sure but they seem to be working remarkably well for some small time authors out there (and big ones too!)

I was so happy with the responses to the new covers I spent a few hours searching and designing one for The Hunt. Will it be the one that makes it onto the print version? I'm not sure. I've sold well over 1,000 books so far of V V, with about 15% in print (and most of those I hand sold face to face!).

Will the cover make the difference? Will it attract the eye and will the product description reel them in? I'm not sure. But one thing you can count on -- I'll never stop trying!

Yes, these covers take me hours to do. Yes, they are harder than the ones I do for friends (and I probably wouldn't want to volunteer my time on one this elaborate for them). Yes, it's fun to use my art background finally -- too bad it never covered graphic design on a computer or I bet I'd be a lot faster!

I'll keep you all posted on whether or not the covers make a difference in sales. Should be interesting to find out!

Writing... Writing... Writing Some More

2011-02-28T09:48:00.003-05:00

February seems to have sailed on by! When I look back on the month I can scarcely believe it's real. I find out some health developments earlier in the month (no need to bore you with the details again), my first erotica novella releases, and I furiously write fast to get the next one out.

Sales on Johnny Living Dangerously have been going pretty good so far, I sold over 300 and it hasn't hit one month yet. It's creeping up the ranks slowly and I certainly can't complain. Do I wish for more sales? Well, duh, who wouldn't? And at a profit of 30 and 40 cents per copy, I'm not rolling in cash by any means. Hopefully, it will come with time.

A very good friend of mine, M.K. Elliott, who publishes under Red Hot Publishing, hit the bestseller status in the erotica category for her first ever released collection of short stories, titled Rescued. The success came at the perfect time for her -- writing for 12 years and published in other genres under a different name -- and I'm thrilled beyond belief for her. A little green-eyed at times, but hey, I'm only human.

Her success has inspired the whole team of erotica authors I work with. We all can't help but hope for the same type of luck to be bestowed on one of our works. I don't mean to imply she is lucky it sold, but rather lucky it hit the right chord at the right time and with no marketing plan or advertising that she was able to achieve such terrific heights.

Her cover is nice, but I'm a little biased since I designed it ;-) She's got another collection out on a different theme and it's doing gangbusters, too. Things have lined up for the first member of the team and I know the rest of us have similar stories for us in our future.

Taking my next novella in a slightly darker direction, I tried my hand at a light bondage theme. I didn't want it to ever be icky or scary, so I wrote what I felt would be a fun and safe walk on the wild side. After all, sex is about consenting adults and I never really grasped the whole humiliation and degradation angle some writers work in to bondage and discipline. No offense if that floats your boat, but it has a edge I'm uncomfortable writing.

My medical massage therapist suggested a really dark angle with blood and knives I just said "Ewww!!" He's an ex-federal law enforcement dude and he's seen a lot of odd things in his former career, but I told him if it creeped me out and turned my stomach I didn't care if there was a market for it, I wouldn't write it.

More Than Tolerable is a novella I'm really pleased with. I'm hoping it does even better than JLD, but we'll just have to see.

Next, I plan on doing a series of short stories based on a military hero theme. I've been talking over ideas and specifics and plan to file the paperwork today to register the series name as Patriotica.

With all the writing I've been doing lately, a reader or peer may wonder when in the hell I plan on getting back to The Hunt. This coming month. I plan on focusing certain days of the week on different projects in the hopes of finding a schedule that works for me and enables me to get the shorter works out faster.

Aside from all my writing updates, today is a special day for members of my family. Today is Eric's, my deceased nephew, birthday. He would have been 22. His death last April is still a shock and hard to wrap the mind around. I've occasionally stopped by his Facebook wall and his friends and some family members use it like a memorial to him, which kind of freaks me out. Peter and I had a discussion about an article he read from a sociological perspective regarding how social networking can help or hinder in the grieving process.

This younger generation has embraced so much of revealing themselves in public that they don't often stop to think if they should. I don't doubt they feel pain, I don't doubt they miss Eric. I know because I do, too. But is it helping them or hurting them by posting this grief in public?

One could argue that anything that eases the pain of a loved one passing might be a good thing, but the mental health argument is the flower memorials on the side of roads, the public declarations of emotional grief, the heartfelt social networking notes that appear to be voiced to the deceased, and general airing of heartache to total strangers are not healthy -- they extend the grieving process by constantly bringing the loss up, and not allowing the soul to heal.

Part of losing someone involves acceptance, but never forgetting. I'm not sure the social networking aspect is a bad idea, but I'm not so sure it's great either. If the idea is to communicate with the deceased, can't that be done in your thoughts or voicing the words aloud? It works for me. I hold Eric in my heart and I think about him a lot.

Why spread heartache on the deceased's facebook wall for others to see? Is it to get "credit" for your grief? Attention of some sort? If you want to reach out because you need help, reach out to a friend or go to a professional.

Maybe it's my own grief rearing it's ugly head, but I just don't understand the public notices. Private thoughts and feelings should be private. If one feels the need to pour out such pain for the world to see then I think it is a cry for help and should not be ignored by their loved ones.

There is only one thing I truly regret with Eric's passing. I regret I did not stand up and speak at his service. I regret that the last words his family, friends, and unit from Iraq had to hear were from a man who sprinkled so much "me" and "I" in his eulogy it became an insult to those of us listening. The man didn't know Eric. Had never met him. And I regret not speaking up. I was afraid.

I was afraid it would be presumptuous of me to speak out when his parents suffered more loss than I. Or for me to speak up when his own brothers would have so much more to add. His best friend told the family he would speak and I never voiced my desire to speak because I did not want to over shadow him or for it to become a cry fest with both of us speaking. But in the end, the young man was unable to do it, his own grief overwhelming him so.

We all have regrets in life, and this one is mine. To let such a noble young man pass without proper words spoken just tears me up inside. My push to make sure I get The Hunt done on time will be for Eric. The character he and I discussed that will bear his name plays a small role in this second book and will become a larger character in book three.

I've had one hell of a year, but if there was anything that could be erased or changed, I would not wish it for myself or my health, I would wish it for the sober young man on a motorcycle in broad daylight going the speed limit, whom a pickup truck driver just didn't see.

Epiphany! What was I Supposed to be Doing?

2011-02-14T15:58:00.004-05:00

Don't you love when you have one of those enlightening moments? For me they happen more lately than they used to. That's the joy of having short term memory loss issues. Sometimes each day brings a new discovery!

Or a new realization on something you forgot... or you only recall you forgot it when a strange sense of deja vu overcomes you.. or an email comes in reminding you yet again of some small or large task that has completely slipped your mind -- but I digress, back to my epiphany.

I have been working lately on erotica pieces and doing lots of editing for others. "But why not The Hunt?" you may ask, with a plaintive whine in your voice. Because I can't remember it.

I know the beginning and the ending, but I keep drawing a blank when it comes to sit down a write the middle. I have a full outline and I know what I need to write, but the words aren't coming because I can't recall what I've written last.

So here is my way around it - I read the whole first half of the book again. Re-edit it as I go, if needed. Then before I sit down to write I have to re-read the entire 13 page outline. The hope, if I do this right, is the next day when I sit down to write I will only need to read the last two or three chapters and the new work I wrote the day before.

But, by the time I start to write, hours after trying to bring myself back "up to speed" I'm tired and my thoughts are scattered. My work window is very small these days.

In regards to the erotica novellas - no offense to the really creative erotica writers out there - less brain power is required. The story is pretty skeletal, the entire eight chapter outline comprising one page. The fun part is just making sex up from my imagination and letting it flow onto the page.

No over all story arc, no sub-plots, no secondary character development that will cascade into book three, no pacing to worry about... no multiple clues and facts to weave in. Is it any wonder a good, full length novel takes a lot more effort? By the time I'm done with The Hunt it will be the length of four or five novellas and will take two to three the times to create.

The really nice part about short term memory loss is I don't know what I've forgotten. Ignorance brings a kind of peace. No worries. Things are good.

The flashes of memory have me scurrying to a notebook to write lists of things down I've forgotten to do. Conveniently, by the next day I've forgotten all about the list.

Does this mean I won't make my goal of completing The Hunt on time? I'm not sure. Now that I'm aware of my missteps and reasons for not working on it, perhaps I can figure a way around it.

I'm facing some pretty unique neurological issues while trying to write. Sure, it gives me purpose each day and something to look forward to. But until I had the epiphany on why I wasn't working on the sequel I was frustrated with my inability to focus and stay on track.

I wonder how many other writers started their career with brain deficiencies from illness and how many had their careers ruined by those deficiencies? I've met other writers with Lyme, or ones who had it and have beaten it, but I haven't met any who are late stage about to get a port in their chest, like me, who are still producing and publishing work.

It truly boggles the mind some days. But then I wake up, tired and not very well rested, the day is brand new and I've forgotten the problems from yesterday.

Meh, it's working. Kind of.

Pick Up the Sword or Stand in the Ranks?

2011-02-10T10:58:00.004-05:00

I've had so much new and confusing information dumped on me in such a short time it's impossible to choose a path -- that is, besides the obvious one of following doctors orders. Occasionally, on here, I talk about my issues with Lyme. I post status updates on my personal Facebook profile, rarely on my business one, and I talk to my friends when they ask about my treatments. But I try my best to disassociate myself mentally from the disease.

I try my best to not dwell on what is going on in my body and all I can't do because it is horribly fucking depressing. Pardon my language. I recently read a young woman's self proclaimed "TMI" Lyme blog where she pours her heart and soul out for her friends and family. She doesn't post often, but when she does you can hear the passion coming through and her desire to beat this debilitating disease.

I've met some people the last few weeks whose stories have left me crying during my long drive home from my latest IV treatment.

-- A teenage girl who was paralyzed due to Lyme who walked for the first time in 18 months over the weekend. She had to be taken out of school for an entire year and is struggling with extensive physical therapy and medical protocols to get her life back.

-- A woman my age who has been battling this for so long she is on permanent social security disability and her and her husband have almost lost everything to keep paying for her treatments.

-- A newer citizen to our country (5 years), who is all alone and she goes to work using a walker to be able to pay her rent and afford basic treatment. She fainted in front of me and went down like a ton of bricks, it was shocking. And quite heart wrenching. The nurses leapt into high speed action like in an ER and I was paralyzed with fear while watching. She'd been blinded in one eye and undergoing extensive new therapies, which her body rejected, to reduce the swelling in her brain and her body just momentarily shut down.

I've begun to dread going to get the IV therapies because I can't handle the emotional strain of interacting with these amazing people, which, when compounded by new diagnoses popping up in my monthly tests, have been making me an emotional wreck. We all have one thing in common - we want to beat this damn disease stripping us of our lives.

What is so hard for me is doing nothing. I can't interact in the online medical forums for Lyme patients. They suck the life and hope right out of me. Their depression comes across the Internet and threatens to grab me in its clutches and take me down as well. I like to tell myself they are worse off than me, I like to tell myself I'm not that sick, after all, I can still walk. I like to push it away and try my best to not dwell on it because if I do, I can see all too clearly why so many Lyme patients kill themselves.

Don't worry, that's not me and it never will be.

But where do I take a stand? Do I stand up and shout to the media, to anyone who will listen, about the conspiracy going on in our country regarding Lyme? And make no mistake - when you have doctors not qualified to write Lyme treatment guidelines getting paid to write said guidelines by the insurance companies, you've got a serious issue going on in health care.

What can one sick person do? The rage consuming me over the injustice these patients must suffer because of the corruption and conspiracy within the AMA and IDSA may very well be a result of symptom from one of my co-infections (nice side effect, eh? You should hear the shit that occasionally pours out of my mouth to my family, then again, maybe it's good you don't).

Can one person make a difference against such atrocities? Can one person uneducated in law and not sure of the path make a difference? Am I up to the fight? Can I speak out and be heard? Or should I sit quietly with my head down and wait to get better, as my life and our savings accounts slowly deplete.

I'm not sure.

I emailed the passionate woman I mentioned earlier, the one with the heartfelt blog. She used to be a civil rights lawyer and she's determined to get better and go after health reform when she is. Should I team up with her and try to make a difference? Will focusing my energies on this be just one more distraction so I don't have to face how sick I am? Or will it be the drive to keep me on track while I get better?

I laid in bed last night with my whole body in pain. Not achy, like I have been in the past, where it feels like I've exercised every single muscle of my body and it's screaming at me from my vigorous pursuits, but actual pain. I started to get teary-eyed, as I am now, and laid waiting in silence for sleep to hopefully come.

Morning came, and despite my desire to stay in bed and cuddle up, finally pain free, I forced my ass out of bed. There is no way in HELL, this damn thing is going to beat me. And if it is my rage against the political bullshit surrounding the conspiracy regarding Lyme that propels me forth each day, then so be it.

Here are some great links I found recently:

20 Reasons why Lyme is under diagnosed

The IDSA Lyme disease guidelines, the subject of an antitrust investigation by the Connecticut Attorney General

Lyme Policy Wonk

Basic Lyme Information - Interestingly enough, I found the tick that bit me. I had no bulls eye (I checked daily) and I tested positive on every damn test for Lyme that there is on the very first pass. My case went to Late Stage with neurological manifestations very quickly-- in part, it's believed, due to my weakened immune system battling my own body (the two, now three, confirmed autoimmune diseases).

If you like the outdoors, or if you kids play in your yard, you need to watch this documentary, Under Our Skin.

I told my son's pediatrician that I keep Doxycycline on hand (from a prescription a few months ago) and plan to use it to treat my children proactively if I see a tick on them -- current belief is 72 hours of 100 mg of doxy two times a day for THREE days is enough to kill the bacteria in it's early stages. He didn't say "no, you're crazy," but, he did say "It's usually the tick you don't see."

And to read personal stories that reinforce why I run and put my head in the sand:

http://learnaboutlyme.wordpress.com/real-stories/

Unfortunately, as I learned more from the documentary listed above, Under Our Skin, Lyme doctors are losing their licenses and being forced out of practice by insurance companies (who have them brought before the state medical board for prescribing antibiotics longer than is set in the current Lyme guidelines:

http://www.idigmygarden.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-28473.htm

What can one person do? Am I that one person? I'll admit, I'm strong. And without sounding like a conceited bitch, one of the strongest people I know. I never back down if I believe in something, I stand up for anyone I feel is being picked on, and I'm a tiger when it matters.

But am I up for this fight? My body weighs me down and my strength is taxed very quickly. I want to fight. I want scream. I want to rage for all the people not getting treatment and dying. Yes, dying, from either Lyme or what it slowly destroys in their bodies to eventually kill them.

Can one person make a difference? I aim to find out.

PiFF with Oliver Sayers!

2011-01-28T07:00:00.007-05:00

Oliver Sayers reached out to me on Facebook last year and we became connected in the cyber universe. I remember seeing comments from him on posts and engaging him in conversation. But other than Facebook, we don't know each other. So, I was especially pleased when he reached out to me to become today's Pay it Forward edit. I'm honored he thinks enough of my work he'd like me to lend eyes to his own.

Oliver's excerpt is from his current high fantasy manuscript - meaning swords and horses in an epic tale. The feel and flow, even the language, is often more formal than in contemporary fiction. Thankfully, I grew up reading Tolkien, Mercedes Lackey, Anne McCaffrey, Piers Anthony, Katherine Kerr, Terry Brooks... and well, the list goes on and on.

Here is the opening to Chapter Five, titled Seduction:

His eyelids drooped. The cup rolled away from his hand. A slow smile spread over his face as his body relaxed. He mumbled something to himself then laughed. I dared hardly breathe. I had waited, yearned for this moment for so long I was almost paralysed into inaction. Something inside me knew that what I was doing was wrong but the thought finally spurred me into taking the next step. I reached over and pulled Sithion’s face gently towards mine. My lips sank into the soft fullness of his. The day’s growth on his chin bristled against my cheek. My tongue sought and then entered the space between his teeth. He groaned softly. Slowly I pulled his shirt over his head. He sank back down onto the roll of blankets. I gazed at his chest, soft black hairs spread up from his navel to form a pair of wings across the top. I ran my fingers over the surface of it, caressing and teasing. His arms were strong and wiry, scars from old sword wounds visible in the firelight. I traced my finger along one that I had witnessed him receive two years previously. He smiled again and took my hand in his. With my free hand I pulled at the laces on his hose, I drew them down over his muscular legs, brushing the soft hair with my hand. He lay there naked, still, unresisting.

I unlaced my own tunic and let it drop to the floor. I removed my soft silk leggings until I was as naked as he. He opened his eyes, catching sight of my naked form. Through the blurred vision of the drug he would not have noticed the reminders of old battles that my body also bore. I crouched over him and then with slow movement drew him inside me. All at once it seemed that my whole body was aflame with hot mercury coursing through my veins. Visions of everything rushed before my mind’s eye as I sank into him again and again. Suddenly my mind froze with extreme clarity and I knew a great and secret truth: a truth that has been hidden forever, a truth that if revealed could overturn the order of everything; the truth that the Elvari had lied about for as long as living records survived. And with that certain knowledge I cried out in my own language and Sithion cried out in his and I felt the completeness of our union inside me.

Sithion sank into a deep and peaceful sleep; his body heavy with the fulfilment of desire and the weight of the potion. I though could not sleep. Instead I lay staring out into the night, my mind alive with the possibilities that had been revealed. So the Elvari leaders had sought to hide the truth about sexual union? The long held division of the body for sensual pleasure and the body as fighting machine melted inside me. The body was the body was the body. Union with another did not relinquish the ability to fight, as had been taught, no in fact it strengthened it. It made you more agile, faster, sharper and stronger; but why had they lied for so long? Why keep this secret for so long? What could they have gained?

~~*~~

Formatting, as I covered in last week's post, is very hard and I'm not sure if there is a class on it. Lots of this writing stuff is self-taught, as I'm sure most of my peers can attest to. Like I said last week, large blocks of text can often be hard for the reader to digest. I broke some of the large sections down, but that doesn't mean it's exactly the way the author might like it, so there is some wiggle room on when to insert a paragraph break.

The biggest issue I found in Oliver's work was feeling slightly apart from it. At times I wasn't sure of the action in the sensual portion and when I was reading the descriptions I felt more like the story was being told to me rather than allowing me to live it with the character. Sometimes you can restructure a sentence and balance the elements of "showing" with "telling" other times you need to scrap a few lines and try again.

I tried to convey the scene a little more concisely, but Oliver may feel my additions don't keep with his original feel and decide not to use them. The original piece was 550 words and I whittled 33 words off and tried to bring some showing into the piece. Here is my edited version (edits in blue):

His eyelids drooped as the tainted cup rolled away from his hand. A slow smile spread over his face while his body relaxed. He mumbled something then let out a short laugh.[CJE1]

I dared [CJE2]breathe. I waited, yearning for this moment for so long I felt almost paralysed. Something inside me knew the wrongness of what I planned, but the thought [CJE3]finally spurred me into taking the next step.

Reaching over, I drew Sithion’s face toward mine. My lips brushed the soft fullness of his. The day’s growth on his chin bristled my cheek. Pressing deeper, my tongue entered the space between his teeth. A soft groan seeped from him causing a tingle to race down my spine.

I eased him forward to pull his shirt over his head. Letting him drift back to the roll of blankets, I gazed at his torso. Soft black hairs spread up from his navel to form a pair of wings across his broad chest. Running my fingers over the heated skin, I caressed and teased him to arousal.

Tinged with the glow from the fire, his arms appeared strong and wiry, coated in scars from old sword wounds. Tracing a finger along one, I recalled him receiving it two years past. He smiled again and took my hand in his.

With my free hand I pulled at the laces on his hose, drawing them down over his muscular legs, skimming the soft hair on my way. He lay naked, unresisting.

I undressed while his eyes stood half-lidded, perhaps catching sight of my naked form. Through the blurred vision of the drug he may not have discerned the battle reminders my body also bore.

Crouching over him, I slowly drew his length inside me. Once our hips met, I felt inflamed, like hot mercury coursed through my veins[CJE4]. Visions of everything rushed before my mind’s eye as I sank onto him again and again.

My mind froze with extreme clarity and I knew a great and secret truth. A truth hidden forever, a truth—if revealed—could overturn the order of everything. A truth the Elvari lied about for as long as living records survived.

With the new knowledge pounding through ever fiber of my being, I cried out in release. Sithion’s moans soon reached my ears and I felt the completeness of our union inside me.

Sithion drifted into a deep and peaceful sleep; his body heavy with satiation and the weight of the potion. Sleep eluded me. Staring out into the night, my mind whirred with the revealed possibilities.

So, the Elvari leaders sought to hide the truth about sexual union? The long held belief, division of the body for sensual pleasure or the body as fighting machine, melted inside me. A body was the body, pure and simple. Union with another did not relinquish the ability to fight. No—in fact, it strengthened it.

The energy coursing through me could only equate to being agile, faster, sharper and stronger. But, why had they lied for so long? Why keep this secret? What could they have gained?

[CJE1]You need to break up the large blocks of text – most times a paragraph 3-5 sentences long works best on the page for a reader.

[CJE2]Careful of the overuse of ‘ly’ words, they are a sign of weak verbs and words choices. Try to tighten by using them less often and still convey the same meaning by re-wording the sentence.

[CJE3]Which thought spurred her into taking the next step? The wrong one that involved drugging him or something else?

[CJE4] We need to be brought into the moment with all five senses – what does she hear, taste, smell and feel in addition to see? Let us experience as she does, even in past tense we can be brought into the moment simple by changing the wording and how we deliver the same information.

Thank you so much, Oliver, for being on Pay it Forward Fridays. It is my sincerest hope you find some of my edits useful and you toss the ones you don't agree with. I wish you only the best as you continue to polish this WIP for submission.

For those of you who'd like to support Oliver, you can find him here on Facebook.

I'd like to keep having this segment on my blog each week, but no one else has emailed me with an interest for next week. Hopefully, today's post will bring some more writers forward, ones eager to improve their work and reach out to another writer who's always willing to lend some time.

For those of you with an interest, please read this initial post describing PiFF and I hope to hear from you!

Once again, keep comments civil or they will be deleted.

Cheers,

C.J.

Pay it Forward Fridays with Tammy Carter!

2011-01-21T08:00:00.003-05:00

Here we are for another edition of what is quickly becoming one of the hottest posts I do all week. This week, we welcome writer Tammy Carter to the stage. Why call it a stage? Because let's face it, when the written word is your art, the internet becomes not only the platform to preform on but the way in which you reach your audience -- combined! Gee, no pressure. ;-)

Come on in, Honey. Show us your work.

Brave your fear and bare your soul. No one will laugh, we're writers helping each other to learn and grow in this tough industry. We promise to only edit and polish your creation to make it shine!

And without further ado - here is Ms. Carter's work:

A Dream Away

Chapter 1

Mason felt slightly coarse fingers feather down her cheek. His soft lips caress her shoulders, then her neck. Her body felt light, as if floating to this blissful place where passion was only a breaths length away. Her body arched and she heard herself moan. “Miss, Miss?” A gentle weight on her shoulder brought her back to reality. “We will be landing shortly,” the flight attendant said. “The captain has asked that we prepare, if you would fasten your seatbelt”. “Of course,” Mason replied. Who is this mystery man I keep dreaming about, she thought? It was always the same¸ waking just before she saw his face. Each time the dream left her with a momentary feeling of emptiness. Gathering up her carryon, she waited as they landed. Hopefully, Emma will have arrived to take her the port as they had planned.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” Mason told Emma as she pulled her suitcase out of the back of the SUV. “We should get together for some girl time soon,” “Ok, if you are sure. I worry about you, traveling alone you know. And yeah, we need to get together and catch up. I would love that. It’s been so long.” Emma replied. Both women had been close friends since high school, and remained so after Emma moved to Miami and married Rob. They had a beautiful little girl that looked just like Emma did when they were children. Emma had been a great source of support for her over the events of the last two years. Mason hugged Emma. “Thanks again for picking me up. I’ll call you soon, promise.” Mason turned and offered her luggage to the porter who waited. Tipping him a five, she made her way up the side walk. The port was busy, bustling with happy travelers. Through the main doors, she proceeded to the ticket counter and presented her passport and ticket receipt. The clerked looked them over, made the necessary stamps and handed them back to Mason, along with her room card. “Have a wonderful vacation.” she chimed. “Thank you.” Mason responded. She and picked up her carryon and headed through the double doors as she was directed by another attendant handling the large crowd.

Mason entered the main holding terminal and looked for a seat in a section that wasn’t overly crowded. Seeing one near the window she walked over and sat down, unloading her carryon as it had grown heavy from standing in the check in line. It was already hot and steamy in the late morning hour in Miami. Her clothes were already sticking to her and she was glad to have reached the air conditioned waiting room where passengers had been processed and waited to be called to board. It was good to be off her feet, for at least a few minutes. She raked her bang back behind her ear as it had come loose from her neat, but hurriedly arranged pony tail. She had considered getting a new, shorter cut, but could never commit to actually doing it. She had always worn her hair a few inches below her shoulder.

Her eyes wondered around the room as excited children babbled to each other while looking out the large windows where you could see the side of the massive cruise ship. Over near the wall a couple stood with their heads close together as they shared a private conversation. It was obvious they were smitten with each other, maybe even newlyweds embarking on a fun filled romantic honeymoon.

Around the room, others were seated, and she noticed a group of middle aged woman who were laughing and making conversation as they also waited to be called, probably a group of friends going on a girl’s only trip. They really didn’t look like sister. Several older couples were scattered around, probably snow birds who routinely move south for the colder months of the year. It was late September and already cooling down in the most northern states.

Mason had been able save enough to buy a trip for single passage and rates were better this late in the year when the hurricanes risk were higher. She had booked a balcony so she could enjoy the beautiful sunsets with beauty like no other than on the open sea. But lower rates meant fuller sailing ships, and from the crowd in the waiting area, this one was no exception.

~~*~~

The total piece was 740 words and we cut it down by 222, to a solid 518 words. Again, blue are the edited additions, and green are her words, just put in a different spot. Here is the suggested edited version:

Chapter 1

Coarse fingers feathered down Mason’s cheek, while soft lips caressed her shoulders, then her neck. She felt light, as if floating in a blissful place where passion existed a breath away. Arching into the sensations, a soft moan escaped her.

“Miss… Miss?” A gentle weight on her shoulder brought her crashing back to reality. “We'll be landing shortly,” the flight attendant said. “The captain has asked we prepare. Please fasten your seatbelt.”

“Of course,” Mason mumbled.

Who is this mystery man I keep dreaming about?

Always the same¸ she woke before seeing his face. Each time the dream left her with a momentary feeling of emptiness. After an uneventful landing, she gathered up her carryon to disembark. Thankfully, Emma arrived as agreed to take her to the port.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” Mason told Emma as she pulled her suitcase out of the back of the SUV. “We should get together for some girl time soon.”

“Okay, if you're sure—I worry about you, traveling alone. And yeah, we need to get together and catch up. It’s been too long.”

Since high school the women remained close, even after Emma moved to Miami and married Rob. The two had a beautiful little girl who looked just like Emma did as a child.

Emma supported Mason over the life-altering events[CJE1] of the last two years. The young woman reached out to hug her old friend. “Thanks again for picking me up. I’ll call you when I get back.”

Mason offered her luggage to a waiting porter, tipped him a five, and made her way up the sidewalk. The port bustled with happy travelers waiting for their cruise. Escaping the humidity, she rushed through the main doors and headed to a ticket counter to check in. [CJE2]

“Have a wonderful vacation,” the agent said with a smile, handing her necessary documents back.

“Thank you.” Mason picked up her carryon and followed the other passengers. Once past the double doors, an attendant directed her toward the crowd waiting to board.

She sat near a window gazing out at a still waking Miami and watched the heat rise off the pavement. Her clothes stuck to her and it felt good to be off her feet.

She raked her bang behind an ear, tucking the shoulder length bits back into her hasty ponytail. Excited children babbled to each other while pointing out the large windows at the massive cruise ship. An affectionate couple stood near the far wall with their heads close together, sharing a private conversation.

A group of middle-aged woman laughed and chatted while waiting to be called, probably friends going on a girl’s only trip. Several older couples were scattered around, they could easily be snowbirds, ones who routinely move south for the colder months of the year. [CJE3]

Mason saved enough to buy a trip while rates were better, but during this time of year the hurricane risks were higher. She booked a balcony to enjoy the beautiful sunsets on the open sea. Lower rates often meant fuller ships, and judging by the crowd, this trip was no exception.

[CJE1] What type of events? tragic? exciting? life-changing? This is a good spot to trickle in something of her background to your readers

[CJE2] I cut a lot of this, and later info, because I felt it read like a play-by play. A lot of the stuff mentioned in this paragraph is implied simply by stating she checked in.

[CJE3] I'm not sure all the inner speculation about *why* these different people are cruising needs to be included.

Okay, I spent some time with this piece and the first thing I'd like you to work on is formatting. It's one of those things I'm not sure if there is a class for, but I know I got it over time. No lie, I occasionally had an open book when I wrote -- one in my genre I could refer to for a guide on formatting. You need to know when to break for dialogue, what type of dialogue tags work best (attribution before or after, action tags to try to balance it on the page), when to break for thought... that kind of thing. Large blocks of uninterrupted text can get skipped by a reader looking to get to the "good stuff", meaning action and dialogue.

Next, you need to take a look at all the detail you're adding into the scene and determine first if it is necessary and next, if it is, how you can say the same thing in a more concise manner. Right now, I'm not so sure if the moment with the friend is needed. If she doesn't come into the story later you may want to consider dropping it.

Lastly, and this is something we all struggle with as writers, be careful how much telling you're doing in a piece. The idea is to paint a picture with your words, but not weigh it down. Bring the scene to life with the action we can experience, rather than facts that are re-told to us in a distant narration.

It is my sincerest hope you find some of the edits helpful and toss out whatever you don't care for. Above all, it is your work and you must preserve your voice within the piece.

Next week, we welcome Oliver Sayers to PiFF, please stop back in and say hello. And for those of you who'd like to keep in touch with Ms. Carter, you can find her blog here.

Interested in having your work showcased on my blog and facebook page? Please click here for the first post explaining PiFF and what YOU need to do.

Pay it forward in all areas of your life, you never know when you may need to be on the receiving end of someone else's kindness.

**Remember, keep your comments civil and professional or I'll go all psycho on your ass.

MLK Day - "What are You Doing for Others?"

2011-01-17T07:00:00.011-05:00

I think this is a GREAT day to think about how you're giving back to the people around you. Some things may be small, others may be BIG, but try to do something for another person and you will spread the desire and need in others to help their fellow man.

At times I can be a snarky bitch, but I'd like to blame such behavior on my various health issues ;-) * notice I said "like"

On my good days I help others by:

Being a sounding board. Hey, we all need someone to listen and make our ideas feel worthy. I do that and I tell you where the holes are. Bonus! ;-)
Editing new writers for free. I hadn't really thought of Dr.King's quote when I conceived of Pay it Forward Fridays, but I'd like to think I'm helping new writers without ever disrespecting their work.
Volunteering with my daughter's girl scout troop. Granted, this has been less and less since I became sick, but I do try and help out as co-leader when their leader needs it.
Not selling the stuff my kids or our family no longer uses, but donating the gently used items to their school, women's abuse shelters, AmVets and Goodwill.
Giving away soups and meals to the nurses and care providers I see weekly. I've often given my soups and dishes to friends, and while they and the nurses may not need it, I'd like to hope they appreciate my effort.
Training my dogs to be therapy dogs. This is more of a work in progress. I trained them extensively when they were young and even brought Astro to the assisted living facility nearby. When I got sick I allowed their training to lapse and this fall I tried to start again but had to drop out of the class when I was diagnosed with walking pneumonia.
Turning my publishing company into something bigger than I wanted. I really only did it initially to sell my own books. My husband is constantly on me about the time I'm pouring into it and not devoting to my own writing, and he's right. But I did it to support the writers who trusted me enough to throw their hat in with me from Everything Erotic and the rest has quickly manifested into something larger than anticipated. I strongly believe if it is their work they should make all the profits and a publisher should only earn the bare minimum.

Okay, the last one may not seem very altruistic, but I really didn't want a website or a store or an accountant... or any of it. What I really need to do is figure out a balance so it stops sucking all my time up.

That about wraps it up. I can't think of any thing else I'm doing for others right now. How about you? How are you helping society somehow, rather than being a drain on it?

A Little Down Today...

2011-01-15T16:18:00.001-05:00

Today is not one of my best days, so I'm posting a picture from Christmas of Pete and I to remind me of recent happier days. I'm wearing the zebra pj bottoms he got me for a gift and they are super soft and I love them.

My doctor switched my meds up last week and then the office kept effing up on calling the scripts in... so I was drugless for a while and felt like I could take on the world. Now I'm paying the price with a possible flare up of symptoms and having to reacquaint myself with the higher doses of antibiotics.

We had friends over last night and after the meal I went and took all three new drugs together. Which turned out to be a dumb thing. I was nauseous within an hour and had to lay down right after everyone left. Today I'm going easier on the drugs and decided to get myself on them slowly. Good thing the office messed up and didn't call in the fourth one or I bet I'd have been puking my guts out last night.

I woke up teary eyed and not myself. Pete and I had a long talk and he's really on me to take all the damn drugs and all the other stuff - probiotics, supplements, immune builders, allergy meds to block the histamine reactions, medical shakes... the list goes on and on.

So I went out today and bought these mungo-huge pill boxes so I could set up a week's worth of pills at a time (that's actually four boxes in a row in the picture, the "weekly" style normal ones with multiple time spots just couldn't fit all the bigger pills). I now take 28 pills a day, 5 weird liquids I put in water and down like shots throughout the whole week, and three powders I have to mix in soy or almond milk as shakes twice a day.

Shall we place bets on if I lose weight? I'm betting with all this crap it won't be too much fun to eat... so I think my chances are pretty good. There's got to be a silver lining here, right? You know, besides getting better. ;-)

This doctor believes if I can get my immune system back to normal I can then beat the tick diseases and put my two auto-immune diseases into remission. I need to try, no matter how much I freakin hate these pills and crap, because the appeal of being normal again is too sweet to pass up.

Tomorrow will always be a better day. Never look back, never place blame, and have no regrets. Live life to the fullest and you'll never wonder "what if..."

C.J.

Pay it Forward Fridays with Teri Anne Stanley!

2011-01-14T07:00:00.020-05:00

Welcome to the second addition of PiFF! Every week I hope to showcase another writer who has a story they're eager to share and how editing can help make it stronger. Some will be further along in experience than others, but all of them are open to one important thing - improving their craft.

This editing pass we'll be working on the craft of writing. Not copyediting or content. We'll be focusing purely on formatting, grammar, word choices, sentence structure, coherence, and rhythm within the piece.

And without further ado, here is Teri Anne Stanley's piece:

The Bridge

Chapter One

Cold plastic slapped Hank’s face. He opened one eye just in time to see a pink flipper about to nail him again. “What the fu…?” He held his hand up to protect himself and peered over his fingers at a small, blonde mermaid. She was sitting on a stool, leaning back on her hands to support herself for the next blow.

The mermaid was about 7 or 8, Hank guessed. She wore a baggy purple swimsuit and pink swim fins. Her mer-legs were fused with an ace bandage that had seen better days. When she saw Hank looking at her, she leaned forward and put her mer-tail on the floor.

Hank tried to focus bleary eyes and scrambled to remember where he was.

“Are your eyes bleeding?”, asked the little girl. She leaned towards him, then back quickly, pinching her nostrils. “I’m going to get you some Trident. Mom says if I forget my toothbrush, I should chew gum to make my breath not so yucky.” She stood and hopped away on her mermaid tail.

Hank tried to sit up to see where she went, but his brain threatened to pop and his stomach rolled, so he lay back and closed his eyes again. What the hell? He had no idea where he was. His feet were bare and he wore only cargo shorts, which seemed damp. Oh God, please don’t let me have pissed myself.

“Here,” The little mermaid was back, patting him on the arm. He peeked at her and she held out a pack of gum and a juice box.

Hank pushed himself up on one arm gingerly, taking the juice box and sucking at the straw. Good. Add a little vodka and this might even get him vertical. She held the gum out, brooking no argument. He took a piece, unwrapped and chewed it slowly. “What is your name?” he asked her. Normally when waking up with a strange female, it wasn’t a good idea to admit you didn’t remember her name, but in this case, he didn’t believe he was breaking any drunken morning after rules.

“Ariel, duh,” said the little girl, settling back on the stool and fiddling with the elastic bandage around her ankles. “I know who you are. You’re Hank the Drunk Cop. My mommy said you need some major help but Uncle Dave said you would be okay since they saved you from drownding and that all you needed was some sleep and you’d be fine. You don’t look fine. And I don’t think you should be friends with Lord Simon the Sour anymore”.

"Who is Lord Sim--huh?" Hank decided to focus first on the last unknown person in that list.

"Lord Simon the Sour," The kid, Ariel?Really? said, with patient condescension. "The bad guy on the bridge. He's not very nice."

Only one thing the kid said made sense. He was not fine. He'd sworn he wasn’t going to do this anymore. He thought he’d had his last drink three months ago. But then he and Rick went to the ball game, and the sun was so bright and hot and the Reds were so bad that it seemed that just one draft beer would be fine. Shit. Not again. But then hell, he’d already lost everything, hadn’t he?

~~*~~

Remember, when working with any editor you take what you like and toss the rest. You are not required to accept all edits as law.

Total word count was 550 words. I cut 18 off the total, even with my additions. Here is the edited version, complete at 532 words. My suggested changes are highlighted in blue, editorial comments are in [brackets] and appear at the end, and dark green indicates her original words (cut from their location and put in a different spot):

Chapter One

Cold plastic slapped Hank’s face, waking him from a fog. He cracked one gritty eye to see a pink flipper raised to nail him again. “What the fu…?” He held a hand up to protect himself and peered over his fingers at a small, blonde mermaid. She sat on a stool, leaning back on her hands ready to deliver her next blow.

The mermaid looked about seven or eight years old. She wore a baggy purple swimsuit and pink swim fins. Her mer-legs were fused with a ragged ace bandage. When she noticed Hank looking at her, she ceased her assault and put her mer-tail on the floor.

Hank tried to focus while scrambling to remember where he was.

“Are your eyes bleeding?” asked the little girl. She leaned toward him, then back quickly, pinching her nostrils. “I’m going to get you some Trident. Mom says if I forget my toothbrush, I should chew gum to make my breath not so yucky.” She stood and hopped away on her tail.[CJE1]

“Here,” The little mermaid returned, patting him on the arm. He peeked at her as she held out a pack of gum and a juice box.

Hank pushed himself up on one arm gingerly, took the juice box and sucked at the straw. A cool, tangy citrus slid down his throat. Good. Add a little vodka and this might even get him vertical. [CJE3]She held the gum out, brooking no argument.

“What's your name?” he asked while unwrapping the gum. Normally, upon waking up with a strange female, it was never a good idea to admit you didn’t remember her name. But in this case, he didn’t believe he violated any drunken morning-after rules.

“Ariel... duh,” said the little girl with an exaggerated expression. “I know who you are." She settled back on the stool and began fiddling with the elastic bandage around her ankles. "You’re Hank the Drunk Cop. My mommy said you need some major help but Uncle Dave said you would be okay since they saved you from drownding. That all you needed was some sleep and you’d be fine," she said, quite emphatic. "You don’t look fine. And I don’t think you should be friends with Lord Simon the Sour anymore”.

"Who is Lord Sim—huh?"

"Lord Simon the Sour," The kid said, with patient condescension. "The bad guy on the bridge. He's not very nice."

Only one thing the kid said made sense so far—he was not fine. He'd sworn this wouldn't keep happening. He thought he’d consumed his last drink three months ago. But then he and Rick went to the ball game— the bright sun and heat combined with the Reds playing so bad... well, he figured one draft beer would be fine.

Shit. Not again.

Hell, he’d already lost everything, hadn’t he?

[CJE1]I'd like to see you interject some sound into the piece - the smack flap of her flippers on the deck and what he may be hearing on this boat  

[CJE2]Is he cold? What time of year is it?

  [CJE3]This inner comment reads odd when we find out later he's sworn off drinking.

Closing thoughts and suggestions: While I really like what you've done and you're opening with a really fun scene, I'm not so sure it will grab a reader. You may want to experiment with some beta readers and see what they think as I'm only one person. There's a great book called The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman. While I'm not sure the whole book is worth reading, there were some excellent pointers it contained to make sure you hook your reader in five pages (and we only worked on the first two here, so you have some wiggle room to hook them).  

You mentioned either in a comment or an email, forget my mush brain memory, you were concerned you started your work off with a cliche. I wouldn't be too concerned right now. If the story grabs a reader it grabs - no matter how it hooks them. But if the cliche isn't working, and I'm not saying yours doesn't, then you may need to rethink your beginning.

I sincerely hope I helped you see exactly what's working in this opening and where you need to re-work things a bit. Like I said, I think it's a really fun beginning.

For the readers who liked the excerpt of Ms. Stanley's NaNo story, or who want to cheer her on as she pursues her dream of publishing a full length novel, you can find her at these locations:

Twitter: @teriannestanley

Blog: http://teriannestanley.blogspot.com/

Thanks so much for participating in Pay it Forward Friday, Teri Anne! Next week we have Tammy Carter sharing part of her work in progress with us! To have your writing considered for one of the upcoming PiFF spots, please email me at cj_ellisson@yahoo.com

And remember people, pay it forward in all areas of your life. You never know when you might need to be on the receiving end of someone else's kindness.

Cheers,

C.J.

** And for any of you new and just stopping by, please be respectful in your comments. Snark and slams will be deleted, leaving you once again searching for an outlet to vent your sexual frustrations into angry comments directed at total strangers who never did anything to you.

COMMENTS ARE LEFT BY CLICKING THE COMMENT OPTION AT THE TOP OF THE POST

Sex Toy Tester Reporting for Booty!

2011-01-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

I blogged today over at Everything Erotic with my latest sex toy review. If you'd like a chance to win a Weekend Bliss Pleasure Pack from the Innervibe folk, then stop on by and comment!

Here's the direct URL in case the above link doesn't work:

http://everythingerotic.blogspot.com/2011/01/sex-toy-tester-reporting-for-booty.html

Cheers!
C.J.

Stylish Blogger Award

2011-01-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

Carole Gill, the newest member of our Wicked bunch, nominated me for her recently received Stylish Blogger Award.

Thanks, Carole!

Now, while I'm not sure my rinky-dink blog about myself applies, I will gladly take any mention I can get and happily pass the buck along to others.

There are some rules and here they are:

1: Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2: Share seven things about yourself.
3: Award ten recently discovered great bloggers.
4: Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

Seven random things about me you'd survive just fine not knowing:

1: I never dreamed of being a writer in my youth. I dreamed of being a vet, then a chef, and in high school an architect.
2: My two year mark for writing "Chapter One" on Vampire Vacation is next month.
3: I chose to start my own publishing firm not because I didn't get offers, but because I couldn't stomach the thought of the publisher making more on my book than me.
4: I dislike traveling far alone because I am acutely aware how vulnerable a woman is.
5: I'm shocked I've become so good at editing other people's work.
6: I used to collect statues of castles and I own about 26.
7: I hate exercising with a passion and don't understand how people enjoy having their muscles ache.

And these are the lovely people I will torture with having to do the same with a nomination from me:

1. Anastasia V Pergakis
2. J.D. Brown
3. Suzanne Johnson
4. Kerri Nelson
5. Keta Diablo
6. Riley Quinn
7. Lynn Rush
8. Lani Rhea
9. Melissa Ecker
10. Bertena Varney

And no, none of you are allowed to re-nominate me ;-) Let the fun begin!

Pay it Forward Friday: Lani Rhea!

2011-01-07T03:00:00.027-05:00

Welcome to the first addition of PiFF! Every week I hope to showcase another writer who has a story they're eager to share and how editing can help make it stronger. Some will be further along in experience than others, but all of them are open to one important thing - improving their craft.

What is the difference between an edit and a critique?

First off, a critiquer doesn't normally fix your work. They will read it and tell you your tenses are off, your word choices are passive, you're "telling too much", this sentence flows wrong and they don't get it, or they will "suggest" you change things to XYZ. Often, they may offer thoughts on your plot, your dialogue, your characters and your setting (even if you didn't ask). Or, if they are crappy at critiques, they will give you a vague "it looks good" with no real direction to help you improve it.

An editor doesn't always do all of the above, and yet sometimes they do more. Depends on which pass they are on in your manuscript. Craft is usually done first. They will cut things, rearrange the order in which info spills into the scene, spot an inconsistency from one page to the next, or change the wording to make a sentence more concise. They don't "suggest"—they get out their mighty red pen and they wield it freely. Without emotion or rancor.

Always treat someone the way you want to be treated and you'll do fine when editing for someone. I can't believe some of the crap I've read in reviews from writing.com members, crit partners, and judges in contests. Actually, the judges were worse. Some of them hid behind their anonymous status and tossed out harsh words like they were pearls of wisdom I should kiss their asses for... but a few showed me what it meant to be a pro.

Those rare professionals who took the time to help, offer a newbie advice, and share kind words really stuck with me. And that's why I'm starting PiFF (God, that acronym sucks).

If you comment on one of these PiFF posts I ask only one thing, always be respectful of the author and their work. Just as you would no sooner ridicule a painter's initial rough sketch, a new nurse on her first day in the ER, or a child attempting a new sport, don't comment unless you can be civil. I'll delete the comment and never mention it, leaving your stunted efforts to be clever at someone else's expense a legend in your own mind.

This editing pass we'll be working on the craft of writing. Not copyediting and not looking at the story as a whole or in parts (meaning story arcs, black moments, beginning, ending... the list goes on). We'll be focusing purely on grammar, word choices, sentence structure, coherence, and rhythm within the piece.

Before you read the initial post I want to share some thoughts I passed on directly to the writer already:

I read the whole first chapter. I really like the world you're building and the main character you're creating. You're painting an excellent picture with your words and I can clearly see the image you're trying to convey.

The most helpful advice I can offer in regard to your work is to try and be concise in every single sentence. Some words are extraneous, others are duplicates with the same meaning (like dark and moonless), some weigh down the sentence with clutter... and some are implied.

Every time I cut a word or a sentence I tried my best to retain your overall vision, but if I did not stay true to your intent, or my additions are just plan wrong, then please, try again to convey the meaning in another way so it is clearer to the reader.

The best way to read over an edited piece is with the Final Showing option used in Track Changes, meaning all my suggestions are incorporated and you see no "blue" on the screen, except for my comments. If the meaning in your work flows the same, consider accepting the edit. If it's wrong or rubs you as off, then don't use it.

In the end, it is your work and you must be happy with it. Please take my suggestions in the spirit in which they are offered: to help improve the piece.

And now, here is Lani Rhea's original piece:

Louisiana Moon

Chapter One

The only reason why Mr. Launders sat in my office in the first place, on this dark cool moonless night, boggled me because I declined his puppets last week. Now a pissed vampire, Mr. Launders, thought he could make me give him what he wanted. He still didn't scare me. Am I stupid? No, because I don't let undead things bully me.

I sat across from one of the most feared leaders in Venice. He's feared around the cities on the southeastern tip of Louisiana. From what's been told to me, he never makes public appearances. I should squeal with delight for such a special visit. He didn't frighten me though. I think if you grew up knowing his past, yeah, he'd scare you. I wasn't from around “The End of the World,” I didn't even believe in hoodoo. And from what I understood, he'd been around for centuries. And this is the first I'd ever seen his face. Fancy me pink. I dislike pink.

I knew the appointment held important significance today. I wore my best professional dress suit with a smile plastered on my face. I wish now I wouldn't have twisted my long hair up in a bun, I thought the brown curly q looked cute. My blue eyes turned ice when I saw who the potential client was. I was positive another puppet, but not the puppet master.

He wore professional business suit, black, throat to toe, and he had a blood red teardrop diamond pined in the center of the satiny raven tie. The pin matched the cuff links, except set in the purest gold I'd ever seen. The three rings he wore on his fingers bounced glittery lights off what dim lighting held in the room onto the ceiling. His black hair wedged over to the side resembled an early eighteenth century mob gangster lord.

His puny, stark white face appeared hallowed under his cheekbones. I could tell he hadn't fed in days. Now this should frighten me further. I wouldn't let the thought linger in my mind long enough and seep out my pores to give him the upper-hand. No, I would remain calm and tell him what I told his puppets the other day, I can't help.

Together, we stared at one another for the longest time across the wood grained desk. Mr. Launders' eyes traveled over to my business cards every few minutes. They were printed on high gloss, black stock. I loved the look! The two K's, for my initials, were in elegant scrolls. One was printed in dark violet ink, the K that faced backward faded into a pastel purple. And my Bounty Hunter contact number written elegant across the bottom matched the pastel. Paperwork scattered the top of the desk. A single stained glass lamp sat off to the left corner, next to the only plant I owned, a miniature palm tree. The screen-saver on my lap top bounced a “wooden stake” like a game of ping pong. No pictures occupied the walls, or desk. Say the least, I didn't have loved ones to gaze at anymore—a history tucked away—never forgotten.

His dark eyes roamed up and down my throat.

I pushed him killing me, in one split second, aside. He wouldn't dare try.

The small burgundy office, once warm before Mr. Launders entered, grew colder the longer he stayed stone still. His body absorbed the heat I needed, and he knew this. Because vampires are sneaky, they steal your body heat when they're not sucking your blood for warmth and fulfillment. A nice way to cheat a starved death—shriveled prune and poof—don't you think.

I began to shiver as he tried to make me agree with his trick. I wouldn't.

A small slip of a smile spread across his pale pink lips. A hint of vanilla and honey spewed a thick, sweet scent into the air. He deepened the effect. Bastard!

~~*~~

Total word count is 665 words. I cut over 80 off the total, even after including the dialogue added from later in the chapter. Here is the edited version, complete at 580 words. My suggested changes are highlighted in blue, editorial comments are in [brackets] and appear at the end, and dark green indicates her original words (cut from their location and put in a different spot):

Chapter One

Mr. Launders arrived at my office, [CJE1]on a cool moonless night, confusing me with his presence—after all, I declined his puppet's visit last week. My blue eyes turned icy when the potential client walked in. The pissed vampire thought he could make me give him what he wanted. He didn't scare me.

Was I stupid? No, but I don't let undead things bully me either.

I sat across from one of the most feared leaders in Venice, one feared in all the nearby cities on the southeastern tip of Louisiana. From what I'd heard, he never made public appearances, even though he'd been around for centuries.

Perhaps I should've squealed with delight over such a special visit. He didn't frighten me though. And even though we'd spoken on the phone, today marked the first I'd ever seen his face.

Fancy me pink. I dislike pink.

Our appointment held significance today, and I wore my best dress suit with a smile plastered on for good measure. I wished I hadn't twisted my long hair up in a bun. While [CJE2]the brown curly-q looked cute, it didn't make me look too formidable. I felt positive another puppet sat before me, but I had no idea who his puppet master was.

He wore a tailored suit. Black covered him throat to toe, with a blood-red teardrop [CJE3]tiepin in the center. On closer inspection, I noticed the pin matched his cuff links, except the gems were set in gold. Three rings adorned his hands, bouncing glittery reflections across the ceiling, even in the dim light. His black hair was wedged over to one side, resembling an early eighteenth century lord mixed with a mob gangster.

His slim, white face appeared hollowed under his cheekbones—implying he might not have fed for days. The thought might alarm most people, but I couldn't let the idea linger long. If my fear seeped out my pores it'd give him the upper hand. Remaining calm, I planned to tell him what I told his puppets the other day—I can't help.

We stared at one another across the messy wood grained desk. Mr. Launders' eyes traveled to my business cards. They were printed on high-gloss black stock with my initials in elegant scrolls and my Bounty Hunter contact number across the bottom. No pictures sat nearby—I didn't have loved ones to gaze upon anymore, just a history tucked away, never forgotten.

The vampire's dark gaze roamed up and down my throat before settling on my full bust. “You know I won't leave until you give me what I desire.” His newer, southern accent couldn't quite mask his natural Romanian one.

I pushed the fear of him killing me aside. He wouldn't dare try.

The small burgundy office, once warm, grew colder the longer the undead stayed. His carcass absorbed the warmth, and he knew it. Sneaky creatures, they steal your body heat when they're not sucking your blood for sustenance.

“What I do know, Mr. Launders, is you need to understand I cannot help you. How many times do I have to repeat myself to your gang?” A shiver wracked my frame as he tried to use a mind trick and bend me to his will. [CJE4]

A grin spread across his pale pink lips. A hint of vanilla and honey, thick and sweet, spewed into the air—indicating he was deepening his efforts. Bastard!

~~*~~

[CJE1]You state "the only reason why", and then do not provide us with an actual reason.

[CJE2]We need a reason why she wishes she hadn't done her hair in a twist, I know you're using this as a way to describe her appearance, but the detail really doesn't add to the scene. You can always have a secondary character comment on your MC's appearance in a scene if it truly matters.

[CJE3]She can't know it's a diamond, this is an assumption.

[CJE4]What mind trick am I missing here? What is he pushing her to do?

Closing thoughts and suggestions: I think you need to move the action up and then weave pertinent details in. Right now we're so bogged down with the telling of details we aren't shown what's going on. Lots of writers think "telling" is bad, it's not. But it must be balanced with the "showing" within a piece. Showing applies not just to how you reveal the information, but also to dialogue and action.

I sincerely hope I helped you see exactly what's working in this opening and where you need to re-work things a bit. You've got the makings of a great story on your hands—obviously vamps and supernatural critters are near and dear to my heart!

For the readers who liked Ms. Rhea's story, or who want to cheer her on as she pursues her dream of publishing a full length novel, you can find her at these locations:

Website * Blog * Twitter * Facebook

Thanks so much for participating in my very first Pay it Forward Friday, Lani! Next week we have Teri Anne Stanley sharing part of her recent NaNo project!

And remember people, pay it forward in all areas of your life. You never know when you might need to be on the receiving end of someone else's kindness.

Cheers,

C.J.

PIFF!! Pay It Forward Fridays!

2011-01-04T17:26:00.005-05:00

I know in twitter land people do Follow Fridays and Writer Wednesdays... but I wanted to do something different, something to help new writers.

Lots of people flock to blogs and websites to improve their query letters, to read what agents really want in submissions, or to find out the latest changes in the publishing industry... and still more go to blogs that focus on what frustrated industry professionals think of those painful letters, submissions and aging dinosuars. Even more aspiring writers go to writer sites in the hopes of getting feedback to improve their writing.

I can honestly say I've done more editing in the past year, and across more genres, than I ever anticipated in my entire life. Me! The girl who can't spell to save her life and doesn't write thank you notes because she's afraid she'll mess up with her handwriting and spell something wrong (which I invariably do, I need the waving red lines under my words desperately).

So if I can't spell and don't have a journalism or english degree what makes me think I can help anyone and offer a free edit? Experience, my good chap. I've been an avid reader for decades and work at this new passion 40 hours a week.

There are three types of editing: copy, content and craft. I suck at the first one and excel at the last two. I can deliver what a writer needs to hear and not insult them in the process. I will never use snark in an edit, I will never try and be witty at your expense, and I will give you something valuable toward improving your work: my time.

Send me 500 words - any two consecutive pages that you feel need an in depth edit. I'll post your original and my edit suggestions on a Friday.

If I get no takers then I'll ditch the idea, but I had really hoped this idea could spur more writers to do the same. We're a community, we need to help each other at every level.

Here are my guidelines, subject to being altered if someone sends me something shocking I never thought of:

No rape, incest, bestiality, pedophilia or necrophilia
No scenes with spousal or child abuse
No hate crimes or severe prejudicial view points
No splatter punk (and if you write it you should know wtf it's called)
Any heat level is acceptable, but there are some borderline pornographic topics I don't care for and will not edit: scat, golden showers, and fisting (and any other nasty ones I can think to add you can bet your sweet ass I will)

"Great, C.J. How do I send you my work?"

Email it to me at cj_ellisson@yahoo.com in a .doc or .docx format and do the following:

Please format it using New Times Roman or Georgia font, 12 pt
Double spaced
Please use a .3 or .5 inch first line indent on new paragraphs
Please use 1.5 inch right and left side margins, and a 1 inch top and bottom margin

If you don't know what in the hell I'm talking about, then you might need to take a Word tutorial online to understand how to manipulate the options in your document.

If I select your piece for Pay it Forward Fridays I will notify you immediately by email and tell you the date it will be aired. Do me a favor - if you like the idea please pass the link to this blog article on to any writing group you're a member of.

Cheers and I wish you much success in this bright new year!

C.J.

2010 - A Year in Reflection

2011-01-02T17:03:00.004-05:00

I just read a post from my friend, Suzanne Johnson, where she did a time-line of her past year and all she's accomplished with her writing. It was inspiring when I saw the sheer amount of writing she's done.

My year has been more of the business aspect of things and trying to build a readership. But it has been busy nonetheless.

January - launched Wicked Writers with just four other authors. It's the only blog I'm a part of that has had most of the original crew leave, each for different reasons. There are now nine of us and the site is geared toward writers rather than readers.

This month I also found out I placed second in the big Dorchester contest. I went through an incredibly dark period when my competitor's friends blogged about me, trashed my work, and basically made me feel like I was being cyber bullied.

I pulled my blog from existence for a little bit and I seriously considered dropping out of writing. My dad set me back on track.

February - More queries go out, I hit the one year mark in my writing, got stuck with my kids at home for two weeks with a blizzard and decided to self publish. I also had some health setbacks battling Lyme and had to get a picc line installed. Daily mega doses of antibiotics didn't kill the bacteria, but I'm sure it helped a lot.

March - I got THE CALL. You know the one - either it's offering representation or a contract and mine was for representation. All plans to self publish were put on hold and I agreed to let my agent try selling the MS for six months. This is also the month I decided to try my hand at Erotica. Pete and I brainstormed one weekend, and while laughing our asses off the idea for Johnny Living Dangerously was born.

April - Dreams of contracts wake me at night, I battle a horrible Herxheimer reaction and go back on strong oral meds, my sex toy reviews launch, we add another writer to Wicked, we go on vacation to Disney, and come home to our nephew Eric dying in a horrible motorcycle accident. It was a devastating time and still kind of a blur when I look back on it.

May - We bury Eric and meet most of his platoon. Great guys and I'm grateful I got to spend time with them and his friends from home. Those connections will help to forever keep Eric alive in my heart.

The Write in the Shadows blog launches and my peers help to draw me out of my depression. Things compound when my writing buddy decides to break our relationship off ten days after Eric's funeral. Mainly, besides having issues about my personality quirks, she fears I'm more of a driving force behind her work than she is and questions whether to keep writing or not.

June - I get my ass back in gear on book two and churn out seven chapters during boot camp on Savvy. I meet more writers and start to come out of my self-imposed shell a bit. I invite more writers to Wicked.

July - The energy is contagious and we form a group on Savvy to keep in touch and possibly crit for each other (which later dwindles when I get pulled in another direction with a third group blog). And the biggest thing to change my way of thinking happens on July 28th - I buy a Kindle. I don't use it much until we go on a trip the next month... but when I do, life is never the same. More writers join the Wicked crew, and by month's end we grow to eight.

I also have lunch with some friends who encourage me to do non-fiction writing. I start it, and have done some work on it, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.

August - Using my Kindle has taught me something: There are Kindle blogs with really bad erotica selling like freaking hot cakes. And the author publishes the bad stories afterwards and sells even more copies. I devise a strategy and approach other writers, bam, Everything Erotic is born.

We finally have a platform to reach real readers, not fellow writers. Could this work? We all write our little hearts out and work toward the launch on September 1st.

September - The new site launches and we're all super excited. The reporting issues on Amazon has some problems, but by the end of the month we find out we're getting real subscribers! Real readers!! Whoot!

I'm finally taken off my latest five month stint with antibiotics and life seems good. My symptoms are gone and I'm feeling like I could take on the world. I read an article a friend passes on to me and it finally occurs to me - what am I waiting for? It's been six months with no takers on my MS, lots of almosts and polite rejections, from the big players in publishing and I have no intention of going with a smaller house. I also have to go to the hospital to have my throat opened due to one of my autoimmune diseases, but hey, I've had it done before and I lived.

Unfortunately, within two weeks of ending my antibiotics (and thinking I'd beat Lyme) I'm sick as a dog and my specialist is at his wits end. I'm sent to a doctor who combines traditional medicine and therapies with alternative treatments and therapies. I met with them and the reality of "you're sicker than you think" smacks me in the face.

I move forward to launch my own publishing house and my ebook goes up for sale by the end of the month and the print copy soon follows on Oct. 10th.

October - sales are good on my ebook and the print copy comes out. The idea comes to me we can take all of our monthly posts from EE and compile them into an erotica ebook, after all I own a bunch of ISBN numbers. Bam! We do it and the book sells, much to my surprise.

More health news trickles in from a plethora of tests and I'm switched with my meds again and leave the office wondering WTF just happened.

Determined to not let myself slip into a depression over what I can't change, I head out to promo my book. I do a bunch of guest blog spots, giveaway a bunch of books, and beg everyone I know who can string a sentence together to leave me a review online. I also have two book-promo engagements - Lexington, KY and Jacksonville, FL. Life is good, despite the health complications.

The realization hits I've become a real publisher and I hurry to get a new website designed - although it is still mostly empty.

On Halloween I send out another life changing email - if this idea to reach readers worked with erotica, could I get it to work with standard genre fiction? And the first seeds of a free fiction blog form.

November - The EE site is doing well, I go on my 40th birthday cruise with my husband and NO KIDS (YAY!!!). But once I return my work schedule jumps back into high gear - blogging, writing shorts, editing my little heart out. I set our books up for sale on Barnes and Noble and they take off like rockets! Much better than Amazon and I'm floored with the numbers.

Holy crap the holiday is here before I know it.

December - Four more writers join the Witty Crew on WITS. The EE group produces it's third ebook and suffers some growing pains when I make a decision that upsets some members. We get past it and add more writers to the team. We contact a professional cover artist for our very first print edition compiling the first three ebooks. Excitement is high!

I also design and organize the Free Fantastical Fiction blog. We decide to launch before Christmas in the hopes of reaching new Kindle readers. The venture has only been live about two weeks, so it's hard to tell how we're doing yet.

~~*~~

Whew! That was tiring just writing about it all! How the hell did I do it? Oh yeah, no social life and more hours with my ass in my computer chair than I care to admit.

Doing the fiction blog made me get my ass in gear in regards to my writing, and I'm grateful. I've allowed myself to wander with book two since this spring and Eric's death. I just wasn't ready to re-write some of the scenes mentioning him, nor am I looking forward to writing the scenes to come that involve him. But I will.

Now I'm committed to a release date and have a fire under my ass to get there. Hopefully, we'll get readers checking out our chapters and enjoying our collective work enough to buy the books when they ultimately release this spring and early summer. Time will tell.

By Dec 31st we had over 600 subscribers on the Erotica blog on Kindle, and over 200 on Facebook. We've sold over 300 books in less than three months. Before I knew it, my idea to self-publish turned me into a true micro-publisher with 12 writers trusting me to publish their work.

I now have to get my accountant to give me a price for managing books and cutting checks... and I have to write up real contracts for everyone! Things have grown very fast and the fall seemed to fly by with developments.

What will 2011 hold for me, my books, and my new company? I don't know, but I'm excited to find out!

Where Did 2010 Go?

2010-12-30T08:49:00.000-05:00

Holy cow, the year is almost over. I've been so busy for so long I can scarcely believe it's going to be 2011 in two days.

The end of the year and the start of another always seems to be a time of personal reflection. Did we lose weight like we had hoped? Did we eat better? Did we get the job we needed?

I already blogged about my goals for next year over at Wicked, so I won't repeat myself here. Suffice it to say I have to get my ass in gear. I had a nice little outline for December on what I needed to get done so I could start the next year as planned, and I have two days to finish it... so I'm going to make this blog post very short.

What? No rambling musings? Disappointed, right? ;-)

The new venture at the free fiction blog seems to be doing well. Regular work doesn't seem to sell like the sex stuff does, but I have high hopes it will build over time. The rest of chapter one on The Hunt went up today and I'm ahead of the game there with my edits.

But, editing by nature is a bitch. So I have to get back to it pronto and get myself ready to start back on finishing the full MS.

Wishing you all a safe and happy New Year's eve celebration tomorrow!

When Needing a Nap...

2010-12-02T08:32:00.001-05:00

... is not so good.

I've been pushing myself pretty damn hard since we returned from vacation. I haven't posted pictures or shared funny anecdotes, but have become more of a machine getting through what needs to be done with various projects and pushing past obstacles.

Sometime things go well, other times... well... it's best to realize occasionally as adults we must suck it up and move forward. Dwelling on a conflict or recent upheaval will only mire one in the past and make it harder to move past it. Easier said than done.

I write with some incredibly talented writers over at Everything Erotic, which recently found a new home on Blogger just like the WITS crew and Wicked Writers. EE lost two writers over a conflict and at first I was really upset. It's incredibly hard to manage all these various personalities, trying to make sure everyone has a voice, and no one is disappointed. Some days I don't do it very well.

Will this venture work? Will we all be able to keep chugging along and working side by side? I think so, mainly because most of us feel very passionate about the work we're doing and the number of readers we're able to reach. But, we may lose writers at times and gain others. It will continue to be a growing, expanding, ever-changing beast.

Why am I no longer upset about the writers we lost? Well, I have bigger fish to fry. If I can't convince them to stay they must ultimately do what they feel is right for their career.

Unfortunately, pushing myself so hard has led to a flare up with my symptoms (also called a Herxheimer reaction) and meeting with my doctor yesterday only confirmed it. I've neglected my supplements since I returned from vacation (mainly because I hate taking them) and the doctor gave me a polite "get your ass back on track if you want to get better" talk yesterday.

I came home from my latest IV infusion treatment and took a nap. Not just because my head hurt, but because my body needed it. And that was the second day in a row I needed a lie down in the middle of the day. Within a few hours my headache was back, stronger than before and I was ready to run screaming from my family (which they may have preferred over the snippy, shrew of a bitch who shared the home with them instead).

Before the pain hit, I was able to map out a time line on what I need to do complete book two on time. In addition to making out a rough sketch of how to plan the hours in my day (complete with the dreaded exercise, God help me!)

Today I'm finally getting all the print copies out to Goodreads winners. I apologize for my delay, it is really inexcusable. The truth is, I just can't handle all aspects of this gig sometimes.

How do other writers do it? Do they have helpers? Are they physically stronger and not battling health demons? I know that's not always the case, lots of reclusive writers are reclusive for a reason - and health can very well be a big factor. Maybe they don't blog in five places with twenty five writers (we lost two, but gained four on WITS and one more on EE)? Maybe their kids are grown?

Whatever the reason - I had an epiphany last night on the couch while I was trying to convince my husband if he wants my book to sell he needs to actually help sell it rather than just keep talking about helping. I can't control if my book sells. That's a pretty hard realization to make for an OCPD person. What? You mean if I pour hours of my life, heart and soul into selling the book it still may not sell?

It was like a "this does not compute" moment. I've always felt that if I worked hard enough at something and kept going it would ultimately succeed out of sheer dogged determination. And yes, that is the case for most success stories. But at some point, while doing all that pushing, you have to accept you really have no control.

You may be wishing and working and hoping for the best... but if that was the case then most new restaurants wouldn't fail - you can bet more than half of those owners worked their butts off in addition to wishing and hoping.

You know what this really equates to? Faith. I have to have faith in myself, in my work, and in my future. Unwavering faith that this is the path for me and I have found my new career. Faith that the sales may not come right away, but they will as time goes by.

This faith points me to another important fact: I need to get back to writing. I've put so many things before this plain and simple fact. It's not "Writer's Block". I know what the fuck I'm supposed to write. It's "writer's misdirection".

I need to get back on track. Stay tuned on Facebook. After the holidays there will be some new contests, new chapters being released, and the old me will be firmly back on track. I need to write, I need to let go of the griefs that have been weighing me down since last spring when Eric died, and I need to buck up and follow my doctors orders.

Instead of life handing me lemons, I need to stop grabbing all the lemons I see and trying to mash them all into lemonade. I need to accept what I cannot change and more forward in this new career. My books will sell. They will just take some time.

Cheers,
C.J.

The Sexteenth! Whoot! I'm Back!!

2010-11-16T07:30:00.001-05:00

I won't be writing about my vacation today... or posting the pictures. I'll save that for later in the week. But I will be sharing some info on the NEW toy I purchased at Hustler Hollywood (HH) in New Orleans before I got on the ship.

I'd love to share all of my impressions and thoughts on NOLA with you... but again, I'll do that in another post. This one if all about the fun. Did you miss them? Or was it only Jimmy who noticed the sex posts were lacking? ;-)

Has anyone heard of the We Vibe? I sure as hell hadn't. And when I saw it I dismissed it as odd and had no idea how to use it. And hey, if you have to figure out the sex toy then perhaps it's not worth it, you know?

WRONG.

Sure, this thing looks weird. Can any of you guess how it's used? The helpful sales people on the second floor of HH (where the good stuff is kept) happen to have a toy corral area. No, you do not undress and try the stuff out (bleach your dirty mind out for even thinking it). But you can pick up a gadget and see how it works.

Pete stood next to me checking out the merchandise, until the sales lady drifted over and actually started talking about stuff. He pretended something else caught his eye and slid a few feet away. Then an attractive couple came over and started picking up gadgets while the sales lady was chatting me up (they too became interested in the expensive toy she was showing me)... and he hightailed it. Bugger ran to the window and was instantly absorbed in the street below.

It was freakin hysterical!

Okay, enough jabbing at my poor husband. After all, he did say "It's your birthday, you want it, go for it." And didn't choke at the high price tag*. Why so much? Apparently the gadget works under water (how cool is that?), has nine settings and lasts six hours on ONE charge.

Wow. I can't last six hours at anything besides watching TV and even that would be broken up with drink and potty breaks.

*personal note - do not buy this toy at HH. I'm embarrassed to admit how much I paid. Buy it HERE at Amazon for less than half the price. If I could go back and spank the manager for overpricing the gadget you can bet your sweet patootie I would!

Okay - so how do you use it?

It's a clitoral and G-spot stimulator. The smaller part of the thing slides in with your husband and then kind of bends to position the bigger end to stimulate the sensitive spot outside while caressing the magic spot inside. Added bonus? It vibrates along his length as well.

Even though it looks more like a "C" shape right now, think of it like an "L" shape when in use and maybe it will become clearer on how it works. I swear, I must be a few shades of dumb, because I didn't get it right away either.

The overall rating at Amazon is 3.5 stars out of 32 reviews. Drugstore.com reports 3 stars out of 5 from 18 reviews.

Here is what some of the users have to say:

This product lived up to it's description; I am pleased with the quality of construction. No irritation, sharp edges, no odors, no discomfort. Excellent design and quality. It has none of the problems of cheaper health aids. My wife was previously never able to achieve full satisfaction during conventional intercourse, and I knew it wasn't me or her as things were fine in our former marriages. It is just somehow the shape of our bodies even though we are normal shaped people. However, with this device, for the first time, she easily achieved satisfaction, together with me. I strongly recommend this for any couple looking for a little something new and fun or improved, or something extra. Low speed setting was perfect. While our experience is still limited (only a few days now) it is more than everything I hoped for and was well worth the money. It was very comfortable, and has a flexible design permitting one side to be internal and the other side to be external.

From the product description I thought it might be completely waterproof using an inductive charger, but not so. This is ok, though, it is nearly waterproof and you plug in the charger through a tight sealed pinhole, so it does rinse off easily, though it's probably better to use the cleaning tissues instead.

She was a little nervous and uncertain when she saw first saw it (that's a what?!!!), but now she thinks it is great. I strongly recommend it.

Next one:

This item works as described but could use with some improvements. I found it impossible to change the modes while item was inserted because the pressure needed to push the mode button would push the item out. Could find no logic to the order of the modes. Seems like it would be best if it would go from light to heavy vibration but it seems like there was no thought given to the order of the modes. Would recommend including a printout with the item to indicate what each mode is with it corresponding position and to reduce the amt of pulsing modes and give more vibration modes.

Most helpful negative one:

Wow, was I very disappointed in this!! After all of the great reviews I had read I was so set for a really great product, but not so. Let's start with the few positives....yes it's waterproof, being totally incased in silicone was very nice, and nine speeds was great too. That's where it stops for me. The on/off speed button is VERY hard to navigate due to it having to be made so small so that it doesn't get in the way of the "we-vibe" purpose. To change the speed is near impossible without stopping and quite often you have to remove it!! I also had a lot of problems with the unit moving around inside while being used, which caused distraction and frustration for me and my partner. The level of vibration is nice and low, which is great for "we" use, but HORRIBLE for solo use and not near strong enough even on the highest setting unless you're ultra sensitive.

Maybe this product is great for the woman or couple who have difficulties and need some extra help but for a woman and a couple who simply just wanted to add something to their lovemaking it was a waste of money. Sure glad I bought it through Amazon and didn't pay full price at my local store!

C.J.'s Verdict:

4 out of 5 Big O's

Pro's: Adds a new dimension to favorite positions, easy to use, easy to clean, does not trigger security at airports (and yes, I could go on and on about THAT one, I'll save that for next month with my special travel advice Sexteenth edition), lots of settings to choose from.

Con's: Switch is hard to manipulate while using (so pick a setting and enjoy).

Am I glad I got it? Yes.

Did we enjoy it? Yes.

Do I wish I had purchased it on Amazon and not at HH? YES!!!

Note: This is a silicone toy - you CAN NOT use silicone lubes with it like my favorite, Pjur. You must use a water-based one.

Here's the product description, which I included because I thought one part was particularly funny -

Unique in design, this revolutionary product is the first ever vibrator that can be used while making love. The innovative design allows for both external clitoral and internal g-spot stimulation for women engaging in both solo and partner play. The We-Vibe is hands free, strap free and wireless. Created from 100% medical grade silicone, it’s soft, comfortable and easy to use. 9 exciting new modes designed to provide maximum climatic stimulation (Low Speed - High Speed - Throb - Wave - Pulse - Ramp - Tease - Ascending - Cha-Cha). We-Vibe II makes it even easier "to get turned on" with a new intuitive push button easy to find on the We-Vibe II's nose. With just one push you're turned on to Low Speed, push again and you move from one sensual style to the next. Finished with your We-Vibe II? Simply hold down the push button for two seconds to turn it off. Did you forget and fall asleep? Don't worry, your We-Vibe now has an automatic shut-off, indicating its time to charge. At the push of a button, get turned on again with your favourite vibe within an hour of use. The We-Vibe II remembers your last vibration mode, and resumes play!

I'm sorry - who the eff uses a vibrator and falls asleep while it's still ON?

LMAO!!

Tune in next month when I'll be reviewing the NEW goodies the Innervibe people sent me for free (I'm an official sex toy tester now, did you hear? *snort*), in addition to my sexy travel kit for couples.

I'll also be giving away a free couples weekend pack courtesy of Innervibe to a lucky commenter! I know I still owe my last toy giveaway a package. I believe it was Sherry - I haven't forgotten - I'm just behind right now on my mailings. It will go out soon, I swear.

Get your sexy back, people! Don't make me get the crop!

Be the master of your domain. ;-)

C.J.

My First Real Full Speaking Engagement

2010-11-03T07:46:00.001-04:00

The flier posted around campus. Way cool.
Yes, I'm a nerd.

Or... otherwise known as "Can You Shut Her Up, Please?"

All kidding aside, I think I did pretty good. I worry I talk too much when answering a question. And yes, there are times I start in one direction (because I'm so sure the background to my answer is key) and I wind up forgetting what the eff someone asked me because I took too long to get to the answer.

The Jacksonville folks rolled out the red carpet for me and really made me feel like a superstar. I never had to lift a finger. Shelly Howard was really the driving force behind getting me there and it was a joy to speak with her and hear the enthusiasm pour from her.

Dr. Brannon dressed as Sookie and me
with my big cheesy grin

The day started with Dr.Brannon and I talking in her office, getting to know each other better. Or, as I like to think of it, someone in charge making sure I wasn't a complete whack-job who might embarrass the school. She and I are near the same age and it was a joy to see a professor so excited about the topics she teaches. I only hope my own kids are as lucky to have teachers like her when they go to college.

Next, I went to the auditorium to meet with someone from the school paper. Only they weren't there and decided it would be best to take notes on the question and answer session with the students and base the article on what we covered. Pretty smart way to kill two birds with one stone.

Lauren and Dr.Brannon

Lauren, as I later found out, will be writing the article. As soon as I get a link I'll post it for you. Someone took pictures of me slouching up on the small carpeted stage while I was yaking, so be prepared, they are probably not flattering pictures. Every time the flash went off my only thought was "Crap, I think my mouth was open again."

We had somewhere between 30 and 40 people show up -- no one fell asleep and the yawns were more a result of the pizza served for lunch (I hope), so I think that means I kept everyone's attention.

There were a gamut of questions asked, from "What is urban fantasy?" "How did you become a writer?" "How did you get published?" to "Why do you think female authors write about vampires?" There were many more, after all, it did last about 40-45 minutes, but it went by in a blur.

Hopefully Lauren was paying attention because I'm not sure what all my answers were. Think it was the adrenaline rush ;-)

Shelly and I at the Halloween Festival.

Next, we went right to the Vampire Lit class and I wolfed down some french fires and diet coke as politely as possible while answering more questions in class. The students directed the way the class progressed and I think the professor would have been happier if we covered more scholarly on-topic questions, but overall, any participation was great.

Again, I don't remember most of what I said. Funny how the mind works. I can't be the only speaker who gets up and talks on the fly and can't recall all the ins and outs afterwards, right? People laughed when I tried to joke and no one laughed at me, I'm sure I would have recognized such behavior from my youth, so I'm guessing it went well.

I went back to the hotel for a bit after the class, caught up on phone calls and emails and then BAM, I was back at school for the Halloween Festival. It was a small turnout according to the organizers, but I enjoyed it. I got to speak with lots of students one on one and really had a nice time.

Ryan working his plastic fangs to snag an apple!

They had lots of food, bobbing for apples (while wearing vamp fangs, which was a hoot), wiffle ball aka Twilight-inspired baseball (clever!), a pinata filled with candy and a costume contest.

I wasn't sure how I'd go over at the school - some nobody newbie-writer coming in to speak, but the students were so warm and inviting I never felt awkward. Yes, I will probably talk to a wall if left to my own devices long enough, but no one blatantly walked away and snubbed me, so I'm calling it a success.

Hey, you have to realize I'm used to cold calling and selling myself for work in potentially negative environments. This was a breeze in comparison.

Kids from one of the adult students
and Mandi to the right.

Oh - I almost forgot the best part - giving away my books! The first person who won, Mandi, was incredible. I think she unwittingly set the tone for everyone else. When her ticket number was called she jumped from her seat like a cattle prod zapped her and shouted "Oh my god, I won! I won!" and came running down the side isle.

Of course, I said the only witty thing that popped into my mind "Come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price is Right!" Her reaction made the whole thing worth while. I felt worthy. I felt like my book was a real prize and she was beyond happy to receive it. The other winners were all gracious and every one of them wanted me to sign their copy.

Shelly and the losing pinata.

Some enterprising young men opted for me not to personalize it and I joked it may be worth something in ten years and they could sell it on ebay (or give it as a gift). A few students stayed and talked with me after the speaking part in the auditorium and I was told if anyone wants to talk with you rather than running for the door then you did a good job.

We gave away more copies at the festival later and again, Mandi won another prize (not my book this time). I think her good karma came back to her that day - she gave me a gift with her positive energy and was a winner again only hours later.

Alissa and Leann? Forgot a lot of
names, someone help me out.

I went back to my hotel wrung out and tired. It was a fabulous day and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I'm still shocked at how fast it all went by. I soaked in the tub and talked to hubby for a bit before winding down enough by 11 to get to sleep. Incredible how the rush keeps you going even when you're more than ready for bed.

The next day Shelly picked me up and drove me to the airport. We chatted some more about writing and she shared something with me: after our brainstorming at the restaurant on the night of my arrival, she had so many ideas churning she sat down and started to write. How exciting!

I'm really enjoying this new career. Being able to reach out and encourage others is an aspect I never expected when I started writing last year. I'm still awkward when it comes to accepting praise or being told I inspire someone, but be patient with me. I still don't think what I've done is extraordinary and I still think everyone can write if they want to.

Thought this one was funny, had to share.

It takes drive and dedication to improve your craft. And a thick skin to realize not everyone will like your work. No worries. I'm proof enough that if you write it, they will enjoy it.

Someone out there will, I guarantee it. The odds are with ya ;-)

Wishing you all a great week,
~C.J.

Jacksonville ROCKS!

2010-10-28T09:14:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting in my kick-butt gorgeous Marriott Courtyard hotel room thinking I've died and gone to heaven. The place is super clean and I slept great - a serious first when I'm in a new place.

My flight was un-eventful, always a plus, and once again I'm taken with the sheer kindness of people all around me. A professor from George Mason (in VA) happened to be waiting for a flight in the same restaurant/bar I was at the airport and we chatted for a bit. She was so excited to hear what I do for a living, we wound up having a lively discussion about books and genre. After she left, the man next to her, quietly listening in while reading on his Kindle, asked me about writing and how to get started.

Seems the media isn't lying when they report writing a book is the American Dream (aside from homeownership and being debt free ;-) And when you get down to the nitty gritty - if I did it it should be proof that anyone can with hard work and determination. But, when you really think about it -- isn't that the recipe for all dreams? They don't come to fruition with wishes.

Dr. Sarah Murphy picked me up at the airport and seriously rolled out the red carpet treatment. I've traveled for business before, (you know in my former life where I earned real money?) and yet I've never traveled were someone meets me at the airport, checks me into my hotel and brings me out to dinner.

She kindly assured me she wanted to go (I was thinking the University made her and I didn't want to burden her) and we had a great stroke of luck - Shelly Howard was able to come and meet us at the restaurant! (I think she blew off a class, but shhh... I'm not telling ;-) She's the driving force behind organizing my visit and the festival this year. We chatted like we'd known each other for years instead of only being online buddies. It was so cool.

I got to share in her writing aspirations and we all tossed around ideas at the table in a true writer's brainstorming session. It was a blast! The energy is contagious and you could tell none of us wanted to go home. I'm a lame-o, aren't I? I don't get out much and this past week has been more people I've met (who aren't wearing white coats. Wow, does that sound funny) than the past few months!

I'm truly grateful for this opportunity. I'm looking forward to meeting Dr. Julie Brannon, the vamp lit professor at JU, and her students today. I'm a little nervous, especially after I heard most all of the Inklings, the JU writing group, didn't actually read my book, but hey, it's not a requirement. Talking to them as a writer is what I'm really here for.

I'm being interviewed for the university paper at 12, meeting with a group at 12:30 to talk about writing, and then at 1:30 I meet with the lit class for over an hour and we'll discuss two chapters of my book (15 and 16 incase anyone is curious), strong female vampire leads, and genre-crossing in vampire fiction. I knew a strong female vamp was uncommon when I wrote it, but I wrote what I wanted to read in the genre, never expecting others would read my work (hoping, but never knowing).

What will today bring? Will I eff up and make a fool of myself? Will I have issues with walking and noticeably limp? I'll be taking things slow all day today and I'm sure I'll do fine. My meds have been working great and I'm not going to focus on what I might not be able do - only what I can, which is talk about what I know. And when you combine the writing end of things with the business end of things, well damn, that turns out to be quite a bit!

Now, if I can just muzzle myself from talking about the sex parts too much I should do fine. ;-) Speaking of which, the InnerVibe people sent me a package and I'm going to have some cool giveaways next month for the 16th! Be sure to check back in.

Two hours 'til I get picked up for my day at the university! 90 degree high today and for a few days before Halloween it seems absolutely surreal.

Wish me luck! I'm sure I'll need it -- if only to deal with the heat and humidity! Not feeling like I'm going to hurl, so I think I'm getting the hang of this stuff.

C.J.
**I brought my camera, so I'll post some pics later!! I'm such a nerd about all this, aren't I?

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